A few days before I begin to bleed, my energy shifts quite dramatically. I become short, sharp, impatient and agitated. My 8 year old son gets a good dose of learning what a woman can experience pre-menstrually & he gets a magnified version because it is just the 2 of us in our household. Today was one of those days! You know the ones where you just want to stand on the top of a mountain and ROOOAAARRRRRR a big roar from deep down in the belly. And, well, that sometimes just doesn't fit into the daily schedule.
So, with some awareness, it gets bottled up a bit, pushed back down until the next question with the inevitable NO answer gets fired at me and it BURSTS out again with a NNNOOOOO, rather than the simple no' that one is accustomed to at every other day throughout the month. I know what's going on, I know the energy that is moving is wanting to be expressed and is wanting to moveout. I also know that directing that energy at Sebastian is not appropriate or responsible or what I want' to do. So, what to do with it? The more I hold onto it the more he begins reflecting it for me. Perfect, but difficult to manage when feeling the same as he is with as much intensity. So, how to move the energy? Well, if there is the opportunity to have a big belly laugh I will run with it, although it is difficult to connect with that when I am so in the other. Laughing is such a fabulous release and really takes the edge off, if not moves the frustration completely. Dancing is another one!!! Qigong is my favourite!
An important question to ask is what's the frustration really about? Well, there's certainly a lot to look at each and every month! What's interesting to notice is, my energy is moving in' at this time, it is naturally what is occurring. And Sebastian, aware of this on some level, seems to want more of me. This is where some of the frustration seems to kick in for me. I am so much more sensitive to ALL that needs to be done pre-menstrually the washing, the cleaning, shopping, food, meals, dishes, school, plays, work and mothering which is the constant amongst all of this. ALL of this and my energy is moving IN, so my response is some panic and frustration!!
It is difficult to do it ALL, ALL of the time. Actually, it's impossible! I am not one to complain, but I was so grateful when a dear friend came and joined us for dinner tonight. Phew, was it such a blessing to have a beautiful shift in the dense energy that had been collecting throughout the day. It was like a breath of fresh air, our spirits lifted and we laughed again, thank goodness!!! We were getting way to serious there for a while
