subject: Is It Too Late To Save Your Relationship? [print this page] Is It Too Late To Save Your Relationship?
Many people claim that chains do not hold a marriage together but instead, hundreds of tiny threads bind it and this is sewn by the couple through years of married life. We see several "disasters and masters" of married life but, the question behind all these should be how to discover the reasons why marriages succeed or fail. What makes it fail? What Causes it to succeed? What can make marriages meaningful? It requires the hard work of both partners to make a marriage last, since marriage is similar to a two-way street.
If you want to maintain a perfect marriage, you have to put in your best efforts. Unfortunately, there are lots of married couples who drift apart after the initial excitement or the so-called honeymoon stage, the marriages become stale most often, and some couples end up in break up or divorce. This begins when the realities of life sink in. Priorities usually shift towards children and the home, financial and career responsibilities take center stage and most often, partners are neglected thus boredom of married life creeps in. Many couples wait for a long time before seeking counselling for marital problems. You should seek advice long before it is too late.
The problem is, couples tend to make excuses why they cannot. Lack of spare time, no money, lack of energy. While there is no simple fix for all of these, if you want to save your marriage, you need to at least try. Not only do you owe it to yourself, you owe it to your spouse also. Wouldn't it be easy to say, "make time", especially if you both go out to work, have children to look after and so on. You have to be creative and step outside of your lives, even if it is just for a few minutes. Money is never an easy fix, but luckily, there are several ways to spend quality time with your loved one that doesn't cost any money. If you are both tired, it doesn't take a lot of energy to sit and chat over a coffee or a glass of wine. If one of you would like to have a bath, don't shut yourself off alone in the bathroom, invite the other one in. They can sit at the side of the bath, chat or scrub your back!
Triumph in marriage does not come simply by finding the right partner, but by being the right partner yourself; strive to be the person whom you wish to catch the attention of. Don't expect your partner to be more than you are willing to be for yourself. Let your partner be, change yourself before you demand your partner to change themselves. Lastly, do things together, have activities that you both love and enjoy which could both fulfil you; savour every minute of being together.
In all marriages, you could expect to experience conflicts and misunderstanding from time to time but avoid conflicts that could make a relationship disposable. Discuss problems gently and without blame. Keep communication lines open and discuss matters with maturity and compassion. Focus on the positives as a happy marriage must have a rich deposit of positivity. Remember that love is an important element of your relationship, love is what keeps marriages together when hard times surface; love is something that you do, it should be a behaviour to show that you care, love beyond the words. A triumphant and blissful marriage requires falling in love daily with the same person. Your partner.
