subject: Mermaid on the golf course [print this page] Why it's called golf Why it's called golf
In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf. The man who takes up golf to get his mind off his work soon takes up work to get his mind off golf. Golf was once a rich man's sport, but now it has millions of poor players! Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles. The secret of good golf is to hit the golf balls hard, straight and not too often. There are three ways to improve your golf game: take lessons, practice constantly ... or start cheating. An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice ... once before swinging, and once again, after swinging. Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot count, criticize or laugh. Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind. Golf: A five mile walk punctuated with frequent disappointments. There's no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies. Golf got its name because all of the other four letter words were taken. Mermaid on the golf course
An Italian, a Frenchman, and a Scotsman were playing golf on a links course when they spotted a stunning mermaid on the shore. They all dropped their golf clubs and ran down for a closer look. The mermaid was incredibly beautiful and voluptuous. The Frenchman, not to be outdone, said, "Have you ever been kissed?" "No, I haven't," answered the mermaid. So the Frenchman went over and kissed her long and slow. "Hmmmm," sighed the mermaid, "that's nice." The Italian, burning with desire, asked the mermaid, "Have you ever been fondled?" "No, I haven't," whispered the mermaid. So the Italian walked over and hugged and fondled her warmly. The mermaid said, "Hmmmm, that's nice." Finally the Scotsman asked her, "Have you ever been screwed?" "No, I haven't," said the mermaid. "Well, you have now," said the Scotsman, "'cause the tide's out!"
