subject: Help! Make Me A Calmer Mom! [print this page] Help! Make Me A Calmer Mom! Help! Make Me A Calmer Mom!
In this day and time, we as parents, are busier than ever just tackling everyday responsibilities. Many families have both father and mother working full time jobs. Mothers who have full time jobs also come home to their second full time job. A home and a family is another huge responsibility and job all of its own. It can be overwhelming trying to make sure everyone and everything is taken care of on a daily basis. A mother has no option or choice to just "turn off" the mother button for a little while, so she can take a break. Mothers take on what sometimes feels as a daily challenge, as they care for both their husband and children. During this time, a mother will ultimately not make time or have time for herself. In the midst of all of this a mother can find it very hard to be at ease, less stressed and "calm".
We all know those moms, the type of mother we all strive to be, that always appear "calm". They have an annoyingly effortless way of seeming cool, collected, kind, peaceful and in control even when surrounded by chaos. These moms seem to always have it together, always well dressed with make-up and seemingly worry-free. This is truly not the case, although it might appear that way, every mother has their times! But mothers should strive to be their very best for their family and for themselves.
Try these five tips and make being a calm mom look like child's play.
1. Stay Focused On Right Now-When we are with your children, you should "be withyour children". Turn off the cell phone and the radio when you're in the car and use that time to connect with your child. When at home, turn off the television, video games and internet. Focusing totally on them will make them feel even more special and loved. A mother will also learn more of what their child is feeling and saying. This will put a mother more in touch with their child.
2. Give Kids Some Space-Look at how you might be "re-parenting" yourself, perhaps because of some shortcoming you perceive in the way your own mother parented you. The more self-awareness a mom possesses, the less she will project her own struggles onto her children. It's unhealthy to judge a child for traits that a mother possesses and denies in herself. Remember that a healthy attachment might be a slightly detached one. Over-parenting is another non-calm-mom pattern to watch out for.
3. Simplify Your Life When Possible-Over-scheduling is a recipe for a short fuse. You don't need to do it all every day. Look at what you can "undo" in your day. Look at the week's chores and decide what you can delete from your week. Choose an activity, at least a couple per week, that you can do with your child. Be childlike, really listen to your children and focus your attention on what you're doing together.
4. Nurture your non-mom identity -Forget trying to be another June Cleaver. Ignore the voice in your head about what constitutes a perfect mother, and just be you. Make time to reconnect with what you loved to do before your children and don't feel any guilt. Join a book club, take a gym membership or plan spa days with your girlfriends.
5. Breathe
If "take a deep breath" is something you try to remember to do when stress starts mounting, you're on the right track. Numerous studies have shown the benefits of proper breathing. They range from lower blood pressure, increased lung capacity and a strengthened immune system to reduce stress and improved focus and concentration, to name a few. Babies should be our guide. At birth, children naturally breathe deeply from the belly rather than shallowly from the chest like most adults.
Try to incorporate some of these keys into your everyday life as a mom. You will see a difference in both yourself , your spouse and your children. These steps will put you on track to being a much "calmer" Mom!
