subject: Why a Longer Relationship is Not Always Stronger Than a Newer One [print this page] Why a Longer Relationship is Not Always Stronger Than a Newer One
We tend to believe that the more time you put into something the better it is.
The longer a person has done a job the better they are at it. The longer someone has travelled the better they are at it. The longer two people have been together the better they are at it.
It's time to get rid of this belief and realize that some relationships that have lasted decades are not as strong as some couples who have been together for only months.
I have to sometimes believe that those long term relationships have lasted in spite of being unhealthy and weak and that the people in them could be much happier than they are now.
A strong relationship has many qualities to it like good communication, mutual respect of each other, laughter, tears, shared experiences, inside jokes, a deep understanding, and of course sex.
Sex is an important part of any relationship. It's something you can only share with each other. It validates the feelings you have for each other through touch, sight, smell, and hearing. It makes you happier and healthier by just engaging in the process. But it's lacking in many relationships.
There is also a wear and tear of sorts in older relationships that newer ones do not have yet even if they are having problems.
Getting beat down over and over again and feeling bad about things constantly takes a toll on anyone no matter how big or small it is and if the problem is not fixed it can become a belief that life is supposed to be that way.
Ever heard the old woman complaining about how men are not capable of sharing their feelings or being loyal? Ever heard the old man talking about how all women complain and nag all the time?
These are examples of problems they had which they never addressed and fixed and now have let them settle into beliefs. It's either make it a belief or go crazy asking why.
Newer relationships tend to be able to work out their issues with more communication and understanding because there are no set in and concrete negative beliefs about the other person yet.
The great thing is that both newer and older relationships can start anew. They can be worked on and fixed with some effort and willingness and they start to bring happiness into your life instead of crankiness.
