subject: Learning to Recognise Tests when Talking to Women [print this page] Learning to Recognise Tests when Talking to Women
If you want to project confidence in your conversations with women, it's important to drop your defensiveness and avoiding censoring what you say on the basis of the fearful thought "What will they think of me?". And the most important time to do this is when a woman tests you.
Women put men to the test all the time. They usually don't even realise when they're doing it. The more attractive a woman is, the more likely she is to need to use tests to screen out all the men who are constantly wanting her attention. This is why particularly beautiful women tend to develop "bitch shields". They aren't bitches really; in fact they're usually very sensitive and this is just a way of protecting themselves and keeping their social interactions to a manageable level. Once you realise that their self-defence consists of a series of tests that you can learn to master, you can get past her defence and connect with her.
The first step in passing a woman's tests is to recognise them. So may guys get put off when a woman throws them something out of left field, they flinch and try to justify themselves... which means they fail. They don't realise that it's just a test. When a woman says something to you that you find off-putting, appears to question your integrity, or seems mildly hurtful or insulting, recognise that it's just a test.
After a while you'll start spotting women's tests all over the place, and see other men failing them miserably because they don't realise that it's just a test. It doesn't mean that she doesn't like you. Well, not yet anyway; she's just testing to see whether you have what it takes to match her.
The second step is to pass the test. There are two ways to do this: either agree playfully with whatever she has said, or point out playfully that she's testing you. Either of these will diffuse the test. Be honest with her: you have a dark side, and so does she. She'll want you to expose yours before she'll be prepared to show hers. Women are attracted to bad boys, so don't be afraid to show that you have rough edges and aren't perfect. Keeping it light and fun without being thrown by an unexpected test is key to passing.
Start recognising when women are testing you, or other guys, in social situations. Also look for it in movies and television that you watch. Whenever a man and a woman are interacting, she'll be throwing out tests for him. Most men fail. The men that women love and are drawn to have learned to pass these tests. Check out movie stars like Brad Pitt and George Clooney who know how to pass women's tests, and identify every time it happens.
This is one of over 50 activities in the Confident Man Free Confidence Building Course.
