subject: Practise Making and Holding Eye Contact to Build Confidence [print this page] Practise Making and Holding Eye Contact to Build Confidence
Did you know that whenever two people make eye contact, the first person to avert their gaze is the one with the lower confidence and social status? It's a subtle way that we subconsciously communicate where we fit in the social hierarchy between each other. To become self-confident, you need to learn to maintain and be comfortable with eye contact. This used to really freak me out, but the more I practised the more comfortable and confident I became.
To build your confidence, practise making and holding eye contact with everyone you meet; especially strangers. In any interaction with anyone, hold the eye gentle contact until they look away. Put your attention on them while you do this, and think "I like and accept you as you are". Break into a smile if that feels natural. Don't try to stare them down, but just look into their eyes gently until they look away. This may feel uncomfortable at first, but keep at it and you'll soon get used to it.
A great place to do this is while walking down the street. You're probably used to being the first person to look away when making eye contact with strangers, but from now on I want you to hold on until they look away. If they confront you and ask what you're looking at, just say "Sorry, I thought you were a friend"; but this is very unlikely... it's never happened to me yet.
With women, the more attractive the woman is, the more likely you are to avert your gaze due to insecurity. You probably don't want to do that because you'd really like to connect with her and get to know her, and this is the first step. Pick attractive women wherever you can and just make eye contact with them, holding it until they break it off.
Make and maintain eye contact with every stranger you meet this week, and by next week you'll be feeling much more confident about eye contact. Who knows, you may even make some new friends!
This is one of over 50 activities in the Confident Man Free Confidence Building Course.
