subject: Men Hurt Too, part 2 [print this page] Men Hurt Too, part 2 Men Hurt Too, part 2
Tracey E. Russell
This topic was started about two weeks ago and as a continuation, we should initially begin with the repetitive statement of the last paragraph from part I. In particular, it reads as follows: "men need to implore the same techniques as a female victim; develop a safety plan, document what is occurring, tell-tell-tell (someone will eventually listen), and realize the insurmountable problems that led up to this situation won't be fixed overnight and you are not responsible for her volatile behavior".
For some time, psychologists and medical professionals have studied reasons why people have violent tendencies and are seemingly more drawn to a particular type of individual. Men are generally expected to take responsibility for violence and abuse and excuses are unacceptable. Unfortunately, when a female is violent, society can provide a list of excuses such as stress, menopause, addictions, childhood traumas, provocation, and self-defense. The greater factor to consider is that although men are told to be sensitive to the problems of women, they should not have to suffer violence as a consequence to their detriment. Can the same not be true of men? Can a man not be traumatized in his childhood, or endure the stress as a result of job loss, experience PTSD (war and other trauma), and the like?
When a woman is violent and abusive in a relationship, it is not necessarily assumed that she is a bad mother. Yet if a man is violent towards his partner, it is automatically assumed that he is an unfit parent. In most cases, the law presumes that the children are better off with the mother unless it is proven she is not fit. Conversely, the most viable options for men seem to be to deal with the emotional, mental, and/or physical abuse. This is generally because they believe under the law there is no real protection for them.
During the 19th century, women attained the right to vote. During that same period in the the United States and Britain, women began to challenge laws that denied them the right to their property once they married. Similarly, The Universal Declaration of Human Rights, adopted in 1948, enshrines "the equal rights of men and women", and addressed both the equality and equity issues. With these being said, if a male domestic violence victim seeks help, society should offer the same protection and sympathetic ear as is extended to female domestic violence victims.
