subject: How Can I Carry On a Successful Courtship? [print this page] How Can I Carry On a Successful Courtship?
HOW CAN I CARRY ON A SUCCESSFUL COURTSHIP?
Most marriage failures are courtship failures. This point cannot too often after be repeated. The key to avoiding such a tragedy? Carrying on a successful courtship?
Before dating
The prudent man or woman looks and considers well where he or she is going. Developing romantic feelings for someone whom you hardly know invites disaster even if that one seems appealing. It can lead to a marriage with a person whose emotions and goals are miles apart from yours. It is therefore prudent first to observe that one in a group setting, Perhaps while you are enjoying some form of recreation. Your emotions at first could be your judgment. It also helps to find out what kind of reputation he or she has by talking with someone who knows the person well.
The First Dates.
Having decided that someone might be a suitable marriage mate for you, you could approach the person and express a desire to get to know that one better. Assuming there is a positive response, your first date need no to be some elaborate affairs. Perhaps a lunch date or even being part of a group date will enable you to become better acquainted so as to decide whether you want to take the relationship any further. Keeping things some what informal helps ease some of the heinousness both might feel initially. And by avoiding premature expreesions of commitment, you can minimize feelings of rejection or embarrassment if one of you loses interest.
Regardless of the type of date planned, show up on time, neatly and appropriately dressed. Display the skills of a good conversationalist. Be an active listener.
Though there are no hard-and fast-rules in such matters, a young man will want to follow local rules of etiquette. These may include opening a door for the young lady or helping her into her seat. A young woman, while not expecting to be treated like a princess, should cooperate modestly with her date's efforts.
By treating each other with mutual respect, a couple can set a pattern for the future. A husband is commended to honour his wife as the weaker vessel. And a wife is to have respect for her husband.
Is holding hands, kissing, or embracing appropriate and if so when? Displays of affection, when performed a genuine expression of endearment and not selfish passion, can be both clean and appropriate. Getting to know "the secret person of the Heart". To get a glimpse of your partners feelings, tiny using open-ended questions. Such as, "How do you spend your free time? If money were no object, what would you like to do? What features of our worship of God do you like the best? Why? These allow in-depth responses that help you learn what your partner treasures.
As the relationship deepens and the two of you more seriously consider marriage. There is need for serious talk about important issues such as values, where and how you will like, financial matters, including whether both will work out side the house, children, birth control, concepts of each other's role in marriage, and both immediate and long range goals and how you plan to achieve.
Do not evade or gloss over sensitive subjects out of fear of putting your partner on the spot.
See him or her in action.
A person can be very nice with you on a one-to-one basis. But when others are around, they are often put into an unexpected situation. A friend of yours might say something to your partner that he or she might not like.
Will he or she tell the person off or be sarcastic? In addition to recreation, spend time working together.
