subject: Leaders Must Listen With Their Eyes and With Purpose [print this page] Leaders Must Listen With Their Eyes and With Purpose
Just think back to a recent conversation and can you remember what was said? Did that mental flashback include the person's dress, their hand gestures and their emotional state? For many, the answer to this question is a resounding "Yes."
In the late 1960's, Dr. Mehrabian and his colleague, Ferris, researched the effects of communication through the interaction of speech, facial expressions and tone. Their efforts resulted in the communication rule where 55% of communication is non-verbal, 38% is para-verbal (syntax) and 7% is verbal.
Since this research, many have questioned the percentages, but the reality is that we see what is said as much as we hear what is said. How many times do you "hear" the person's professionalism before he or she actually speaks? Have you already "heard" their economic or educational level before the first word is spoken? Since we listen by seeing as much as we listen by hearing, we must become better listeners where we leverage all of our senses to improve the communication process.
Another researcher, Paul Ekman, studied the impact of emotions within the communication process. He identified six facial expressions that are almost universal in recognition: happiness, sadness, anger, fear, disgust and surprise. People "hear" emotions through their sense of sight. With our sense of sight being just as important as our sense of hearing, listening is far more complex than many realize. In today's world where technology has dramatically affected the communication process especially listening from emails to video-conferencing, leaders need to truly hone their communication abilities especially active listening skills.
Since communication is a process that involves both a sender and a receiver, then the process is not completed until the receiver can decode the message and if necessary return an appropriate message. Active listening is about understanding the communication before attempting to evaluate what has been said.
To be an effective leader who embraces active listening skills requires the leader or receiver to be truly present during the communication process. When we are present, we listen for understanding instead of making judgements or assumptions.
Another active listening skill is to listen with a purpose. When leaders listen with a purpose, our goal varies and may be to gain new information or knowledge; to secure directions; solve a problem; to demonstrate an interest; or to learn about how someone else feels.
Finally, we must listen without the interference of our ego. What this means is that we need to listen more than we speak. Leaders must surrender their ego and put the focus on the sender and not on them as the receiver.
To truly listen for the purpose of understanding begins with our eyes and ends with our mind. Our ears are the bridge between our sense of sight and how our brain interprets the message. In the words of Mark Twain "If the good Lord wanted us to speak more than listen, he would have given us 2 mouths instead of 2 ears."
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