subject: Dealing With Dysfunctional Relationships - Get The Facts! [print this page] Dealing With Dysfunctional Relationships - Get The Facts!
Why do some romances end up as dysfunctional relationships? Frequently the answer is simple. But the reasons are many.
Many people get started in a new relationship or continue in one that is not working, for the wrong reasons. Some do not see the signs that things have taken a negative turn. Others may be aware but choose to ignore the problem in hopes that it will go away. Still others simply have been so long in a bad situation, they simply do not know how to get out.
Some individuals believe that the only way to be truly happy is to find Mr or Ms Right. These folks believe that if they are alone, they will undoubtedly be lonely. It should be understood that many people who have others around all the time, are still lonely. This is especially so of the individual that remains in a problematic relationship. Being in a relationship does not ensure that a person will be happy. The statistics on domestic violence and abuse alone are proof of this.
A certain degree of power, control, and importance should be shared by each partner in a healthy relationship. A situation which always includes one person making all decisions, and having control over every situation is not a healthy one. Some women, and especially those who are young and lack experience may associate jealousy with love. Although a person will protect a person that they love, one must ask if that is indeed what is happening in any given situation.
Some men are inclined to "fight a woman's battles" for her, in order to control what happens in her life. Generally this is portrayed as concern for her well being. This is a slippery slope, which often leads to a woman having no control in her own life. Often men who turn out to be abusive, start out as the "knight in shining armor". Remember, if it seems too good to be true, it likely is.
Certain dysfunctional behavior should never be accepted as part of a relationship. Physical, sexual, and emotional abuse, drug or alcohol addiction, and cheating should never be tolerated. The offender will always apologize and promise to "never do it again" This is a typical response which will become a a serious pattern, if it is allowed. Always insist that this individual get help before even considering saving the relationship.
You may be surprised to know that dating websites are playing an increasing role in coming between already fragile relationships. According to a recent study published in a leading London women's magazine, internet dating sites are the first choice for lonely men and women to turn to when in need of companionship outside of their current relationship.
Dysfunctional relationships are littered with apologies and promises. If a promise is made and not kept, or an apology offered, but the behavior continues, this is a red flag. It is time consider whether it will be better to end things. A boyfriend/girlfriend situation will slowly progress into marriage and children. The longer a person stays in the dysfunctional situation, and the more people who are added, the harder it will be to get out.
Although it is wonderful that many woman can be giving of themselves, they must also love themselves. Only then will they find themselves not needing to ask "why do some romances end up as dysfunctional relationships".
