subject: How Soon Is Too Soon to Start Dating After a Divorce [print this page] How Soon Is Too Soon to Start Dating After a Divorce
This is a question that ends up getting asked a lot. How soon is too soon to start dating after a divorce is something that you are going to end up getting lots of varying opinions on. Really judgmental people love to chime in and say that just about any length of time is too soon, so it is wise to just tune them out. Other people will say that you need to get right back in there as soon as possible, and in a sense they are the ones who are right. The thing is, you have to choose a time table that suits your needs, priorities, and opinion.
When it comes time to start dating after a divorce, only you are the one who can really have the final say. If you have children, then it will have an effect on them, so it's also wise to think about what is good for them as well. If the children are not handling the divorce very well and suddenly they have to see someone new come into the picture, it can end up making things worse for them.
Here are some things that you want to weigh out when thinking about how soon is too soon to start dating after a divorce:
1. Are you really ready to trust someone again and welcome a new person into your life?
If you are dealing with a lot of trust issues stemming from the end of your marriage, then you need to be able to start to get over them before you get back out there and start dating again. You don't want to bring all of that emotional baggage into a new relationship and run the risk that you will end up sabotaging a good thing. Plus, you also want to make sure that you really are ready to deal with a new person in your life and that you are not jumping the gun just because you feel like that is what you are supposed to do.
2. Are you able to handle dating again and rebuilding your life?
When some marriages break up, one of the people pretty much has to start off from square one. Maybe you took a huge financial hit, maybe you need to get back out in the work force again for the first time in years. Whatever you need to do to rebuild your life, that should be a top priority before you begin to think about dating again. Being able to balance piecing your life back together and meeting new people can be tough, so you should think about this before you decide to put yourself back out there.
3. Are you confident enough to put yourself back out there so that you can attract the right person for you?
Confidence and successful dating go hand in hand. If you have had your confidence shot down, and you try to date again... then you may end up attracting the wrong person. You need to make sure that your confidence is up to par so that you can be sure that you will not end up falling for the first person to come along.
