subject: How to catch a cheating spouse - Do not spend an other day in doubt! [print this page] How to catch a cheating spouse - Do not spend an other day in doubt!
How to catch a cheating spouse
A guide for you to figure out the truth
To be cheated by your beloved one is very painful experience. If not the worst of all. To be cheated completely destroys your self esteem, your self confidence and it can very seriously destroy your health as well.
So you really need to be sure if you are being cheated on OR NOT. This is very important; you NEED to know for sure what the truth is.
Not only because you are curious and not only because you deserve to know the truth, but also your partner deserves to get what he needs to get. If he cheats he needs to deal with the consequences and if he is not cheating on you, then he deserves to feel your trust and love. And also you need to have a piece of mind.
This guide will help you to determine the main factor, whether your spouse is cheating on you or not.
Cheating always comes with lying, dishonesty, secrets and some other very special behavior that are easy to catch.
So how do you know that your spouse is cheating on you? You can never know for sure until you see it with your own eyes, but there are certain signs especially if they show up together- that tell you for sure that something is wrong with your relationship and you need to watch out.
Here are six of the most typical signs.
1. Online flirting
Today's technology makes a lot easier to communicate with others, so the internet makes easier to cheat as well. If he is keeping his emails, messages, or other online social profiles in secret, if he does not show you his communication with others, now you have a problem. If he sits in front of the computer for hours and hours and he is not working then you need to get closer to the screen. If he does not let you to read his messages or emails, or if he needs a webcam all of a sudden, you have to watch out. Deleted browsing history might be a sign of cheating. My husband became very angry when I tried to sit next to him when he was chatting on Orkut. He even became mad at me, because I wanted to see who he was writing to. Just imagine. You are chatting with your friend and having fun. Do you mind if someone looks at it? Of course not. It is just fun, so if he gets very frustrated when you go closer you probably have the right to be suspicious.
2. Criticizing.
All of a sudden he starts to critisize you. Whatever you do he finds something wrong with it. Everything you do, or don't do, the way you talk, or the way you look, he starts to bug you with it. Something is wrong. If he all of a sudden starts asking you to go to the gym or dress differently or think different because he does not like the way you are anymore.
My husband started to make me feel like crap because of my daughter behavior. She was 10 at that time, and yes she had some problems, but because of his constant criticizing I really started to believe that I was terrible bad mother. Of course I was not; it was just an everyday problem of a 10 year old girl in a new school. She was not bad and I was not bad, but he made me feel bad about myself because he wanted to feel that what he was doing is not a big deal, and this kind of justified his bad behavior. This way he could tell himself, if I was not a perfect person, whatever he was doing to me was not a big deal either. You need to tell him what every he does is hurting you, and he needs to stop no matter what are your flaws. And try to figure out what is that he is not telling you.
3. Changing plans
When all of a sudden all the plans you agreed on are changing. You are not in the trip together, or you are just not invited to some places you used to go together then you need to watch out. Specially if it happens at the weekends, and keeps going on and on for weeks or months then you need to ask serious questions. The truth is that if he really likes you he wants to spend his free time with you, no matter what. My husband sometimes just went out without asking me and I did not mind it, because I wanted to stay home. But one day I felt like meet some people so I dressed up to go with him. Then he acted weird. All of a sudden he changed some plans and he become very frustrated. He made me feel bad, and told me he was mad because he planed something with his friends and they are not accepting meof course it was not true. You need to ask questions and if he is not giving straight answers or gets angry for no reason then you need to know that something is not right.
4. Silent mode cell phone
If his cell keep ringing and ringing but he is not answering when he is with you and he rather puts it in a silent mode than it is not a good sign. Or he picks it up but goes to the other room to talk then he has something to hide. Of course if he was like this before or he is just extremely shy to talk in front of other people with his boss that does not mean that he is cheating, but you need to keep watching his phoning behavior.
5. Overreact
It is a common attitude that when somebody has something to hide, that if you ask an innocent question he tries to blame you that you too jealous or spying after him. Also if he overreacts when you try to ask this is a sign that he has something to hide. My husband always started to fight with me, when I asked how his night at the bar with his friends was. He become very aggressive and angry and just wanted me to stop asking and wanted me to leave him alone. This was his way of dealing with his lies. Of course everybody acts different but it is very common of liars that they act out different then usual.
6. Intimacy
Very common sign when all of a sudden there is no more intimacy. Somehow the kind and loving partner disappears and there are no more kisses, touching, or intimate talks.
That is a red flag! It shows you that he does not feel the same about you what he used to feel. His commitment and interest in you is gone, but it can be reversed with lots of friendly communication.
Try to clear the situation before it gets worse. If the things are just started going out of control it is not too late to change it and get back our partner.
It is not too late to fix the relationship and everything is possible if we know how to handle it.
But for that we need to know if our partner is cheating on us so we can decide what the next step we want to make is. I was reading plenty of books and guides and I found some very useful and they helped me make the first step.
Determine whether my spouse was cheating or not. For me this was the first and most important thing to figure out. The rest was mine decision based on the fact that I was cheated on. Finally I divorced and right now I am in a very happy and healthy relationship, and I am going to be always thankful that I made that first step. It is my life and I have only this one life and I have no time to waste with someone who cheats on me. But also what I really hope for you- if you figure out that your spouse is NOT cheating just gave you dubious or ambiguous signs, then you have the key element in your hands, that you know at least for sure that he is not cheating. You might just need to change your communication or just have some talk with him, to change things around together.
