subject: How To Keep a Long Distance Relationship [print this page] How To Keep a Long Distance Relationship How To Keep a Long Distance Relationship
Ok so you're in love and, even though your lover might be hundreds (or thousands) of miles away, you're determined that somehow it will all work out. But unfortunately, when it comes to the crunch, most people have absolutely no idea how to keep a long distance relationship alive.
Saying is one thing and doing is quite another. The challenge of coming up with new and imaginative ways to share yourselves with one another when physical contact is not a possibility any time in the near future can be daunting to say the least.
And of course you also have the added stress of not knowing what your significant other is up to.
It's a fact that lack of trust destroys more long distance relationships than any other single thing. You can be as imaginative as you like in your communicating, but if you can't trust your partner not to be jumping off the wardrobe with the first remotely attractive member of the opposite sex that comes their way, then the relationship is never going to last.
Lack of trust should not however be confused with jealousy. The two are completely different.
You can't control your lover's life and you really are on to a loser if you try. Neither can you expect them to lock themselves away whenever they're not working. This takes us back to trust.
In any manual you read or advice you're given about how to keep a long distance relationship, you will no doubt be told variations of the same thing. If you don't have faith in your significant other, then your relationship will not last. Period.
But you know, that's not so different from any relationship. Yes I know that it's harder when you don't see each other from one month to the next, but if someone wants to cheat on you, they will do -whether they live in the next state or the next street. At the end of the day, if you've never been given any reason to distrust your partner, then why should you do so? Going down that route leads to paranoia and you've got it jealousy!
So lack of trust and jealousy really do work hand in hand and one breeds the other.
If you really want to know how to keep a long distance relationship alive and healthy you need to learn to trust. If you discover that you're unable to do so when your lover's given you no reason to doubt them, or find that you're eaten up with jealousy when they so much as step outside their front door, then the first thing you should do is to ask yourself why? Have you got trust issues lingering from a previous relationship? Is your own self esteem lacking in some way? Very often talking to someone or seeking counseling can help with unresolved issues, but you have to be honest with yourself.
Long distance relationships are not for the fainthearted, but there really can be advantages. If you can get over the trust issues, very often the physical distance can actually make a relationship stronger since both of you have to be more imaginative to keep the romance alive. Indeed some people have even found that the distance has allowed their romances to grow at a slower pace rather than burning hot and dying out quickly.
How to keep a long distance relationship alive? It's the same as any relationship; both people must have a real interest in each other that goes beyond physical attraction. Infatuation will not last forever, but real love can.
