subject: Issues in dating [print this page] Issues in dating Issues in dating
ISSUES IN DATING
In many lands dating is viewed as a means of romantic entertainment, a fun activity. Dating thus takes many forms. For some, a date is a formal, structured affair-flower, a lovely dinner, and a good-night kiss are all part of the agenda. For others, a date simply means spending some time together with someone you like of the opposite sex. There are even couples who are constantly seen together but who claim to be "just friends".
Well, whether you call it dating, going together or just seeing each other, it usually amounts to the same thing: a boy and a girl spending a lot of time together socially, often unsupervised.
Dating was not the custom in Bible times-Nevertheless, when carried out intelligently, cautiously and honorably, dating is a legitimate way for two people to get to know each other. And, yes, it can be enjoyable. But does this mean that you should date?
THE PRESSURE TO DATE
You may fell under pressure to date. Most of your peers probably date, and naturally you do not want to seem weird or different. Pressure to date may also come from well-meaning friends and relatives. For some youths the pressure comes from their own desires for warmth and affection. Nevertheless, a teenager should not begin dating simply because he/she feels pressured to do so! For one thing, dating is a serious business-apart of the process of a selecting a marriage mate. Marriage? Admittedly, this may be the last thing on the minds of most youths who date. But really, what justification could there be for two people of the opposite sex to begin spending a long of time together other than to investigate the possibility of marrying each other? In the long run, dating for any other reason is likely to result in anything but "fun". Why so?
THE DARK SIDE OF DATING
For one thing, youths are in the vulnerable period of life the Bible calls "the bloom of youth". During this time, you may feel powerful surges of sexual desire. There is nothing wrong with this; it is a part of growing up.
But therein lies a big problem with teenage dating: teenagers are just beginning to learn how to control these sexual feelings. True, you may know God's laws regarding sex and you may sincerely desire to remain chaste. Even so, a biological fact of life comes into play: The more you keep company with a member of the opposite sex, the more sexual desire can grow-whether you want it or not. It is the way all of us are model until you are older, and move in control of your feelings, dating may simply be too much for you to handle. Unfortunately, many youths find this out the hard way.
Little wonder, then that dating often culminate in illicitly sexual relations. True, not every couple end up having sexual relations, some let their displays of affection stop just short of it. But what results when one is worked up emotionally and has no honourable out let for such feelings? Guaranteed frustration. And those frustrations are not limited to sexual feelings.
TORN EMOTIONS
Teen heart break is a common malady. True, a young couple walking hand in hand may present an attractive picture. But what are the odds that the same couple will be together a year from now, much less married to each other. Slim indeed. Teen romances are thus almost always doomed relationships, seldom culminating in marriage, often terminating in heartbreak. After all, during the teen years, your personality is still in a state of flux. You are discovering who you are, what you like, what you want to do with your life. Someone who interests you today may very well bore you tomorrow. But when romantic feelings have been allowed to flourish, someone is bound to get hurt. Not surprisingly, several research studies have linked a fight with a girl friend or disappointment in love as among the situations responsible for many youth suicides.
AM I READY?
v Do I want to cause hurt feelings? Both your feelings and those of the other person can be crushed if romantic bonds are forged with no respect of marriage in sight. Really, is it fair to heap romantic attension upon someone in order to gain experience with the opposite sex?
v What do my parents say? Parents of ten see dangers to which you are blind. After all, they were young once, they know what real problems can develop when two young people of the opposite sex start spending a lot of time together. So it your parents disapproves of your dating, do not rebel. Likely, they simply feel you should wait till you are older.
