subject: Turn That Inner Critic Into A Inner Cheerleader [print this page] Turn That Inner Critic Into A Inner Cheerleader
"Love yourself first and everything falls into line."
Lucille Ball
Do you have a voice inside your head that keeps criticizing you? If so, are you tired of that voice that seems to be looking for ways to point out what you have done wrong, or should have done better? A voice that won't even allow you to celebrate even a small success, because you didn't do it perfectly, or because you have so much still left undone.
The number of people who suffer from this painful inner critic has become almost epidemic in proportions. That inner critic can steal your peace, happiness, and joy from your life. It can also keep you from actually getting unstuck, and keep you from creating the life you want.
Have you noticed that if you have an inner critic, the more that voice beats you up, the worse you feel? And have you noticed that when you feel bad, you may then do more of what that voice was beating you up for? It can become a vicious cycle! Take overeating as an example. When people are stressed or upset they may reach for some comfort food, and for a little while they might feel better. But then that voice starts up, saying "Look at yourself, you are such a fat slob, and now look what you have just done, you've just polished off a whole bag of cookies!" Hearing that may make them feel hopeless, and so they just keep on eating.
If you have an inner critic, you may notice that it will pick on practically anything from how you act, or look, or any bad habit you might have. It especially likes to bring up the past, or tell you if you don't change, your future will be just as bad or worse than before.
That inner critic wants you to believe that if it didn't continue to beat you up, then you would be totally out of control, and that the voice is all that is keeping you from losing it all together, from being a total mess. It also wants you to believe that the criticism is the best way for you to make the changes you want, but that is as far from the truth as it can be.
This inner criticism is very detrimental to your self esteem and self acceptance. Self esteem is created by appreciating your good qualities, but there is an even more important aspect, which is self acceptance. Self acceptance is not just appreciating your good qualities, but also accepting your faults. You often feel that if you accept your faults then you won't be motivated to change them. But accepting those faults, and still feeling good about yourself, is an important step toward actually being able to make positive changes. It's important to accept your faults before you can truly improve them.
However, self acceptance is easier said than done, but it is crucial in order to transform that inner critic into an inner cheer leader. It is helpful to understand that positive reinforcements are so much more effective than negative reinforcements. Often, people's inner critic began when they started receiving a lot of negative comments in childhood. So if that is the case with you, now is time to start giving yourself more positive comments and allowing yourself to accept the fullness of who you really are. This is extremely beneficial for being able to create the changes that you want.
It is important for you to become aware of what you are saying to yourself. And when you notice that you are feeling bad, check in and see what you are saying to yourself. Then, stop and work on turning that comment around, and find a more positive way to say it. If that is too hard, pretend that you were hearing your best friend say that negative comment, and then counter that with something more positive. You need to start becoming your own best friend!
Besides feeling much better about yourself, and actually being more motivated to make the changes that you want in your life, you will get the added benefit of being much more at peace with who you are right now.
Having an inner cheerleader can affect how you present yourself and how you are with people. You will notice another added benefit where people around you will start to be more attracted to your positive presence. Have you noticed that there are people who just seem to light up the room when they walk in? You can bet that they have an inner cheerleader that creates a strong positive self image.
I used to have a very strong inner critic, but I have to say, that the more I work on my inner dialogue, and accept all parts of myself, the more I find inner peace, and feel like I have an inner cheerleader supporting me. This then makes it easier for me to make the changes I want in my life.
There is a technique that is making a big difference in changing that inner critic into a inner cheerleader, and it is called Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). EFT is easy to learn, and yet it is a very powerful tool. So, if you find that these suggestions aren't enough to turn your inner critic into an inner cheerleader, then reach out to someone who can help you with some tools such as EFT. I find that these suggestions and EFT have made a huge difference in my life and the life of my clients.
