subject: Ways to Regain All of His Trust [print this page] Ways to Regain All of His Trust Ways to Regain All of His Trust
For whatever reason, you did something unwise and that you probably regret. That you are still together suggests that your relationship is something worth fighting for. The problem is, that you have lost his trust, and a relationship cannot survive without trust. If you are looking for ways to regain all of his trust, you have to realize that it will take a long time, and that you might never regain his trust.
It would be nice to be able to say I'm sorry, now can we please move on, unfortunately you cannot, you have to earn his trust. The situation that you are in is not about how the situation makes you feel, it's about helping the victim regain his faith in you and your relationship.
Trust is the solid foundation on which you build your relationship, it gives it strength and purpose. When you first start a relationship with someone, you automatically give them your trust. Your trust in them can increase or decrease, it depends on what experiences you have with them. When someone betrays the trust that has been freely given, then the victims world can disintegrate.
Having someone trust you is quite a responsibility, it is something that you have to live up to. When you betray that trust, you do not just betray your partner, you betray yourself, you show yourself to be someone whose word is worthless. In order to regain his trust you need to redeem yourself and learn how to trust in yourself again. If you cannot trust yourself, how can he. Take a look at yourself and what you did. Why did you do it, was it a mistake or was it a compulsion. You need to deal with what made you have an affair, it was not something that you had to do, it was something that you chose to do.
You need to be able to take responsibility for your actions and own up to them. You need to admit what you did, and you need to apologize in a way that shows that you can understand the hurt that you have caused him. He needs to know that you understand how you have hurt him, if you can show that to him then it will go some way to healing your relationship.
It is easy to say how sorry you are and what you will do to make things better, but those are just words, words are cheap. Probably one of the best ways to regain his trust is to actually show that you can change. Tell him what you will do, and do it. The thing about telling him your plan is that it puts pressure on you to keep to it, you have given him your word, and it's not one that you can break. It will help him to trust you when he sees that you are doing everything that you can to heal the relationship.
If you want to build a healthy relationship you need to share your lives. If you want to regain his trust then you are going to have to share what you do with him. Let him know who you speak to, what you do, where you go. If it helps the let him check your cell phone and emails. Be honest with him, if you have a problem then talk to him, if you forget something or do something wrong then tell him. If you start to talk more about what you do in your daily lives, it not only helps him to connect with you more, but it gets you back on track to a healthy relationship. There is a downside to sharing what happens to you, and it is that you cannot conceal any information. If you are hiding something then your body language will give you away, he will get suspicious, and you might have lost your chance for real happiness.
You are going to have to talk about what happened. Do not conceal anything as your body language will give you away, and it will be more difficult to regain his trust. Tell him everything, if you miss out on details his mind is just going to keep brooding over it and it will be more difficult for him to get over it. A full confession will go some way to regain his trust. You also both need to discuss why you had the affair, as it could point to problems in the relationship that need dealing with.
If you say that you will do something then do it. No matter how trivial the action, every time that you keep your word, it restores a little bit of trust to him.
Because you hurt him so bad you will find that your partner keeps a very close eye on you. This means that once you start to make the changes that you need to regain his trust, then you cannot stop, you cannot just paper over the cracks, you have to stick to it every step of the way.
Once you have settled into your new routine, be careful about sudden, unexpected changes. Routines can be comforting things. You know pretty much where your partner will any day of the week. When something unexpected happens to change that routine then suspicion can start to gnaw away at you. If something unexpected happens then let him know, and do what it takes to keep him happy.
You can regain all of his trust but it will not be easy. Be completely open and honest with him. Give him no cause to ever doubt you. You can use this nightmare to rebuild your relationship. If you look to create the best possible relationship, then you could build something really special.
