subject: Single Parent - Dad The Housekeepers Wearing a Housecoat [print this page] Single Parent - Dad The Housekeepers Wearing a Housecoat
As a single Dad perhaps you thought it would be a long time coming, before there would be another woman in your life, but the time has come. The problem is how do you break it to the kids?
It seems no matter how long a parent remains single after a divorce, its never long enough for the kids. They have a hard time visualizing their parent being with someone else. In the case of boys, its because no matter what their age, they just assume the role of man of the house, when Dad is gone. With the girls, well now, she's daddy's little girl, and for another woman to step into the picture is just not going to be tolerated.
So how do you get the kids to accept this new woman in your life? The first word of advice is to take it slow, but be honest. Kids are not stupid, and in fact, they may recognize your feeling for this new woman, before you become aware of them.
You need to make it clear in the proper sort of way, that you certainly would like to have their approval, but your relationship with the woman is not going to hinge on this. The kids have to realize that you do have a life outside of theirs, and you are entitled to live it.
By the same token, you have got to give the kids a chance to adjust. You need to walk a fine line here, between all parties concerned. In fact, there may also some outside input into this matter, namely from your x-wife. This will depend on the current relationship between you two. If your x-wife is bitter, than the task of becoming a happy family with the new step mom, is going to be a little more difficult.
Start off by letting the new lady of the house and the kids get to know each other, on their own grounds. You do not always have to be there, thinking your need to be the referee. There is much that the kids and the woman need to work out together. On the other hand, don't just throw the woman to the mercy of the little wolverines (your kids).
Ideally you need to bring this woman into the kid's lives, before you bring her into your home, on a permanent basis. The kids waking up in the morning, finding a strange lady in her housecoat, in your kitchen, making breakfast, is just a little much too soon.
