subject: Not an epiphany, just a real eye opener [print this page] Not an epiphany, just a real eye opener Not an epiphany, just a real eye opener
Personal discovery, not entirely the first thought on my mind as I trudge through daily life. Perhaps this is why personal dreams can convey meaningful ideas. I would not go as far to say I had an epiphany, although a certain revelation came to me one night after a particularly complicated break up. It's possible many may identify with me on how I work my way through personal experience, and so I want to share it.
"I had a dream one night about my Ex-boyfriend, at first I couldn't remember most of the dream but slowly it came back to me. We went to Disney Land in the dream, we walked around and looked at all the sights and we were having this animated conversation. He was still my boyfriend in the dream, we talked about what we were going to do and where we wanted to eat. We looked at all the attractions and laughed about which ones we wanted to go on. When the dream ended I experienced disappointment and despair, Disney Land faded in the background and we were no longer there.
I finally realized that in the dream although we had gone to the happiest place on earth, we didn't do one single thing while we were there. We did not go on a single ride we didn't see any characters we didn't even eat the food. I think my dream was like the relationship I had with him in truth. During our year together, we talked about allot of things, but we didn't experience the relationship itself and do the things you are supposed to when you are in love. The relationship didn't progress naturally. The disappointment I felt, was the leaving of the relationship not the despair. The despair was over the distinct impression I had wasted my time and energy, to stand around and look at what I could be doing."
It seems relationships have turned into business arrangements, devoid of passion and love. The current trend is, who can do the most for me, not who do I want to I do the most for? Learning to follow my own goals and dreams has forever been a challenge for me. I followed others, and did what was expected of me as a woman, or so I thought. I was convinced I wanted to be married, and have children because that was what was expected. I'm enjoying my life as a single Mom now more than ever. Although I feel settled about the way my life is going, sometimes I wonder, when do I get to go to Disney Land?
