subject: Dry Drunk - How Abstinence Alone is Not Enough! [print this page] Dry Drunk - How Abstinence Alone is Not Enough!
A dry drunk is a person who quits drinking alcohol, but does not address any of his issues that led to drinking excessively. The client will say, "I feel depressed and anxious". He admits there has been an alcohol problem in the past. This type of client usually gave up alcohol after experiencing legal problems (such as a DWI) or possibly a medical problem (that was serious enough to put a halt to the alcohol consumption). Maybe his spouse threatened to leave him which "scared" him into sobriety.
What happens to a person who quits drinking alcohol, but does not address the issues behind his alcohol problem? He acts like an alcoholic! He will continue to exhibit alcoholic behavior even with no alcohol "on board"!
Here are some cases from my practice:
Case 1: J.R. is 42 year old woman who has a long history of excessive drinking. She comes to me because her husband said if she does not quit drinking alcohol, he is taking their two children and leaving her. He made it clear that he will fight for sole custody. Despite a long history of alcohol abuse, she says she knows she is finally out of chances with her husband. She goes through detoxification. She starts on antidepressants and a medication to decrease alcohol cravings. Her mood lifts.
She adamantly refuses to attend alcohol anonymous meetings or to participate in therapy. She has no insight into herself and denies any alcohol problem after 4 months of sobriety. She says everything is fine now. Her family is grateful that she no longer drinks. However, she still has serious marital difficulties and tension in her relationship with her teenage children. She is easily frustrated. Her children still feel like they have to walk on eggshells around her. She has shown the willpower to stop her addiction, but her underlying anger, self esteem issues, and unresolved childhood issues are unchanged.
Case 2: L.W. is a 20 year old alcoholic that dropped out of college because of his binge drinking. The last few months at college, he quit going to his classes and stayed in his room getting drunk by himself. He finally called his parents and said he needed help. He went to an alcohol treatment center for 6 weeks. When he first came to see me, he said he had difficulty sleeping and was still depressed. After adjusting his medication, his symptoms of depression cleared and his sleep improved. He rarely went to alcohol anonymous meetings and did not actively participate when he went. He thinks his ability to maintain his sobriety over the last six months indicates that he does not have a real alcohol problem and therefore does not need a 12 step program. He has reverted back to his old lifestyle hanging out with his high school drinking buddies and does not have any goals for the future. He also has no interest in therapy.
Both these cases are examples of a "dry drunk". Yes- both clients remained clean and sober. However, both continued their alcoholic behavior" in their personal lives (according to their families). They continued lying, manipulating, and denying responsibility for their own problems. They remained selfish and angry. Both denied having an alcohol problem. Neither client showed any true understanding of how their alcohol problem impacted their families.
Quitting drinking is the first step in recovery. However, the issues that led to excessive drinking must be addressed in order to change your self and your life in positive ways. 12 steps programs, such as alcoholic anonymous meetings, in conjunction with therapy, are very effective avenues that lead to true addiction recovery. It is hard work, but well worth the effort.
Dr. Sarita Uhr is a psychiatrist that specializes in alcoholism and addiction. If you think you or someone you know has a spouse with an alcohol problem, click the link alcoholicspouse to sign up for her free report on, "The 5 Proven Methods For a Healthier Marriage With Your Alcoholic Spouse". It may save your family's life. The information in this report gives you very simple strategies that could very well save your marriage. Dr. Uhr's method has stunning results.
