subject: Marriage Counseling: Does It Work? [print this page] Marriage Counseling: Does It Work? Marriage Counseling: Does It Work?
We have all seen the movies where a married couple is depicted showing their disapproval of one another in front of their marriage therapist. We almost always see them get into a verbal argument while one of the persons in the couple finally turns to the therapist and says, "Do you see what I have to put up with?" This of course is a Hollywood movie, in reality marriage counseling is just as serious as individual therapy, and in a way it almost is individual therapy. In order for a marriage to work, both individuals must learn to function as a unit. Without this symbiotic relationship the marriage is doomed to fail, that is where the Marriage Counseling Does It Work question can be answered.
It is important to know going into a relationship, that each person, no matter how much they may think alike, is different. Every individual has different opinions about the world and their environment, depending on their exposure. The exposure to different situations is part of what shapes a persons value and belief system, and it is almost impossible for two people to have identical exposure to the world.
What marriage counseling does for the couple is to help each person to identify with what they value, or believe is right or wrong, moral or immoral, and bring it to the table. Quite often what alienates couples, is the fact that they just have differing values, but this must be understood by the couple in order to lessen negative behavior.
Negative behavior in a marriage can be reduced and controlled with marriage counseling therapy. During therapy your counselor will identify negative behavior such as jealousy, anger, and insecurities. He or she will then work on the negative behavior and attempt to correct it. In order to stop negative behavior the therapist has to isolate the problem and then expose it to the couple. The problem usually lies in the fact that individuals in the marriage have both been nurtured differently, and have formed differing values over time and differing exposure to the environment. Thus, bringing conflict into the relationship. Marriage counseling does indeed work, and it works very well.
There is a rubric that most marriage therapist follow that enables the individuals in the relationship to work on themselves. Once the individual work is done, communication between the couple improves and the marriage does improve. The time line for this process varies upon many factors, but it is worth it.
