subject: HoW High Do You Bounce? [print this page] HoW High Do You Bounce? HoW High Do You Bounce?
It depends how you can answer this question?
What is the one word that means "I feel in control of my life?" "Hmmmm...?" How about "I remain optimistic and don't give up, even if things seem hopeless?" Wait! Better still "I believe things happen for a reason?"
Here's the answer resilience' (ri zilyns, ns), meaning the quality of being resilient. It's the ability to bounce or spring back into shape, position, the ability to recover strength, spirit, good humor, etc. quickly apprehending pitfalls and bumps of life; buoyancy.
We all face problems and how we deal with them makes a profound impact on the remainder of our life. Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or even significant sources of stress such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors. It means "bouncing back" from difficult experiences.
Some people, companies, and organizations seem to bounce back and thrive no matter what happens. Others fall flat. The ability to bounce back could very well be the most critical skill of the 21st Century. With change as the only absolute certainty, we all require high-level competency in life-buoyancy skills. It is not just about staying afloat. It is more about surviving and thriving after trauma. It's embracing the challenges of life changes as a reality to work with rather than around.
Today's environment is creating a greater awareness of the need to bounce back quickly from life's set backs and upsets. Although some individuals are genetically predisposed to face unpleasant experiences better than others, anyone who chooses can learn to develop resilience skills. Research has shown that resilience is ordinary, not extraordinary. Resilience is not a trait that people either have or do not have. It involves behaviors, thoughts, and actions that can be learned and developed in anyone.
What is this specific ability and how do you get it? Part of it is nature. We know that activity in the right or left prefrontal lobes is an indicator of a positive or negative orientation. Blaming it on genes is a great excuse, but brains can be rewired. If your thoughts tend to be negative and anxiety is a daily occurrence, begin working on it.
To do that lets first bookmark Mindsets.. (Keywords: fixed mindsets) Mindsets are beliefsbeliefs about yourself and your most basic qualities. Think about your intelligence, your talents, your personality. Are these qualities simply fixed traits, carved in stone and that's that? Or are they things you can cultivate throughout your life? People with a fixed mindset believe that their traits are just givens. They have a certain amount of brains and talent and nothing can change that.
Whether they're aware of it or not, all people keep a running account of what's happening to them, what it means, and what they should do. In other words, our minds are constantly monitoring and interpreting. That's just how we stay on track. But sometimes the interpretation process goes awry. Some people put more extreme interpretations on things that happenand then react with exaggerated feelings of anxiety, depression, or anger. Even with superiority.
Mindsets frame the running account that's taking place in people's heads. They guide the whole interpretation process. The fixed mindset creates an internal monologue that is focused on judging: "This means I'm a loser." "This means I'm a better person than they are." "This means I'm a bad husband." "This means my partner is selfish." A fixed mindset that is.
How can you change from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset?
Recognize that you have a choice!
People with a growth mindset, on the other hand, see their qualities as things that can be developed through their dedication and effort. Sure they're happy if they're brainy or talented, but that's just the starting point. They understand that no one has ever accomplished great things not Picasso, Darwin, or Tiger Woodswithout years of passionate practice and learning.
How you interpret challenges, setbacks, and criticism is your choice. You can interpret them in a fixed mindset as signs that your fixed talents or abilities are lacking. Or you can interpret them in a growth mindset as signs that you need to ramp up your strategies and effort, stretch yourself, and expand your abilities. It's up to you.
But if it were up to me than lets do one other bookmark "Challenge". Mind you, in the verb please. The beauty of it is that sometimes, adversity is precisely the medicine we need to wake us up - which is why I don't have a big chip on my shoulder about adversity. I've found it's often the cure. It's the thing that makes us hit bottom, and the direction is only up from there.
Most people, of course, try to avoid adversity. However, one of the heroic qualities is to look at adversity and ask, "What's the teaching here?" But who wants to do that? You just want to bitch and moan and write poetry about it. Yet there's something important about looking at the adversity through the lens of that question. The result is like suddenly shining a black light on a surface. You see what's there in invisible ink. If the shit hits the fan in your life, it's really important to look closely at the pattern created on the wall and ask, "If this challenge is a friend, what would it be telling me? Adversity looked at through the proper lens is a friend, possible only by being resilient.
