subject: Men Hurt Too, part I [print this page] Men Hurt Too, part I Men Hurt Too, part I
Men are naturally perceived as the stronger sex. Men are generally thought of as brave. Men are typically assumed to be the more dominant within a relationship (heterosexual). Men are supposedly never struck by a woman and it's impossible for her to batter him. Men are vocal and would address an issue if they are living with such a problem. Unfortunately, every statement just listed is a stereotype and not necessarily true!!
MHT, [Men Hurt Too], is another phrase coined by the author as research has enhanced this unfortunate discussion even further. The data is unmistakably skewed when discussing this topic. Unfortunately, it is yet a reality for some men. Realistically speaking, he doesn't have to be in a male-male relationship to endure such personal travesty. Women can and do dominate their partners when they see they can have said control, when she has tested the waters and hit first and he didn't respond, or even when she determines that he simply won't get upset by her actions!!
Some of the possible reasons why men might stay in an abusive relationship are the following:
v Diminished Self Worth
- I thought it was a fluke the first time she hit me, and then threatened me, then
-I think our love will survive this, "I am not cheating, and I am a good man"
v Failed Ego
-How can I of all people be involved in such a relationship?
-People will never believe me
v Indescribable Shame
-What will my family and church say if I report this? The police never believe men
-It's a private matter, so how can I discuss this with anyone seriously?
v Unfortunate Denial
-It's not that bad
-She will stop when these change (she gets a job, stops drinking, or feels better)
v Unwillingness to Give up the Person Goods'
-I'd be lost without her
-She won't let me see the children if I tell people she is doing this to me
v Generational Curses (All He Knows History)
-The abuse I am enduring isn't as bad as the pain I saw my mother endure at the hands of my father (this is why I swore I would never strike a woman)
-I will leave tomorrowworking and taking care of my family is more important than to make such a change
In Columbia, SC men should expeditiously contact the South Carolina Coalition against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault as well as their local law enforcement if he is experiencing such violence within his relationship. (This same reporting action should honestly occur anywhere a man feels trapped or hurt in a violent relationship between him and his mate.) He shouldn't have to endure the humiliation and pain of being targeted as this re-victimizes him and exacerbates his current situation. Unfortunately, most data indicates men feel as if the woman will turn the tables and allege he is yet the abuser. Regardless, men need to implore the same techniques as a female victim; develop a safety plan, document what is occurring, tell-tell-tell (someone will eventually listen), and realize the insurmountable problems that led up to this situation won't be fixed overnight and you are not responsible for her volatile behavior.
