subject: Time Management – The beliefs and strategies that cause you to over-commit and avoid boundaries [print this page] Time Management The beliefs and strategies that cause you to over-commit and avoid boundaries
To resolve time management problems it is essential to uncover unhelpful beliefs and sabotaging strategies. If it was as simple as acting on what we know we would all be experts at time management. Our actions are a result of our beliefs, therefore to change our actions we need to change our beliefs. We have strategies that help us in one area but limit us in others. Successful beliefs and strategies are essential to good time management. Over committing and lack of boundaries are two common causes of poor time management. Here are some of the beliefs and strategies that cause them.
Over commitment
Over-committing is planning too many tasks for the time available. Over committing leads to stress, overwhelm and feeling torn between obligations and people. We can become dependent on unhealthy stimulants to keep going.
Unhelpful Belief: The more we schedule in the more we achieve. This can be true, however long term over-committing compromises health which requires lengthy time off to recover. Maintaining an average work load is more stable and maintainable long term.
Strategy: To gain approval and self worth from others by always saying yes to requests. We need to have the behavioral flexibility to say yes or no depending on the circumstances. Gaining self approval through acknowledging your daily achievements and good qualities is far more affective and easier to maintain.
Strategy: Relying on our achievements to boost self worth. There comes a time when we don't achieve because of illness, aging or going on a holiday, then our self worth decreases. Know that you are valuable just because you exist and not because of your achievements.
Build self worth and create balance by valuing who you are, not what you do. We are human beings not human doings. Just for this week take twenty minutes of your time to sit and do nothing except recognize your value just because you exist.
Lack of Boundaries
Boundaries are the invisible lines we draw between what we will and won't give in regards to our time, space and energy. Without boundaries we can become frustrated and inefficient through the interruptions and distractions that we have enabled. We can feel disempowered and resentful.
Unhelpful Belief: A nice person would say yes. A nice person may be less honest about what they want which inhibits true connection. We can be considerate of others and state our boundaries by respectfully voicing and enforcing how much time we have available for them.
Unhelpful Belief: My needs aren't as important as others. This strategy eventually erodes self esteem. We need to consider others needs and make a conscious choice about when and how much we can assist them.
Strategy: To avoid conflict. This strategy causes us to say yes when we really want to say no to others requests. Look for a win win solution that allows you stick with your boundaries and support others. Know that you are not responsible for how others react to your decisions.
Strategy: To meet a need for variety and spontaneity. Try to meet your need for variety within the boundaries that you have set. Diarize free time; when you have the freedom of choice to do nothing or anything you want.
Learning to set healthy boundaries in the area of time management can help us to value ourselves more and set boundaries in other areas of our lives. Just for this week take a small risk and set a minor boundary. Notice and feel the positive changes that result.
There are plenty of free tools and tips to enable excellent time management. Many people struggle with utilizing their time effectively because unhelpful beliefs and strategies prevent them from acting on what they know. These unhelpful ideas and patterns are often reflected in other parts of life as well so resolving them is essential for an emotionally healthy lifestyle.
