subject: Marriage Relationships and Eight Ways to Make Marriage Work [print this page] Marriage Relationships and Eight Ways to Make Marriage Work
Date night ideas for married couples is very important to developed strong relationship. Traditional marriage today s a lt diffeent than marriage in te past. Divorc s a much more commn entity. Althogh people g into marriage with the same value as in te ast, there s less succes. Why s ths? A tough question to anwer for sure.
Below are 8 ays to enhance you marriage o that ou don't nd p as another divorc statistic.
B Realistic. Coules oftn g into marriage wit idealistic notions of what marriage i all about. These idas ar handed down from generation t gneration o gleaned frm popular agazines, TV shows, or imply conjured from ther wn fantaies f what the would like. Each individual shold make clear what thei explicit nd implict expectations are and clarify these expectations such that they are clearly understood y one another.
Do Not Take One another For Granted. This can b a kille for relationship. It usually occurs sometim aftr the honeymoon perid. When ou partner feels tken for grantd, not respectd or acknowledged, nd feel that others are higher priority than him/herself, esentment brws. A reglar "state of the union" chek-in wth your spouse s to how s/he s feeling about the relationshi can elp vert resentment build-up.
Communication Skills. Being able to communicate s one f the gretest assts in any relationshp. Being abl t artiulate our thoughts and being certain that the listener understnds wat you wish to say take coniderable practice. Oftn we believe w are saying on thing, whle the listener i hearing something entirely differnt. The listener often is responding t eiter hat they believed you to say o their wn intepretation. Communication requirs bot good transmission skills (articlation) and god receptive skills (listening). Without both, commnication will e at bst diffiult. Th next tim yu want to discuss something imprtant with yor spouse, follow the fllowing stes:
1. Arrnge fo a convenient meeting tme ather than trying to have discussion on te fly whn it is likely to be interrupted.
2. Find "talking tick" (any small object will do). So long a one person s hold the stick, that person also holds the floor. One the stick i passed, it becomes te othe peson's tme to talk. This technque prevents interruptions.
3. Express our pint, and then, passing the stick, as you pouse to repeat what you said s tat you cn b ertain that yo were at least eard. If your partne i not able t repeat hat you sad or you do nt feel undrstood, repat your point until you ae satisfied.
4. The listener's job during this eercise is to be certin you understand nd communicate that undertanding t you spoue before you cmment n the content of wat yu are beng told.
5. Once yor prtner feels heard, thn it becomes your turn t cmment nd be heard.
6. Contine this process until resolution, passing th "talking tick" and alternately beng in the ole of transmitter and receiver.
This apprach, often referred to a "activ listening," one learned can prevent isunderstandings nd seve t keep emotions under contrl. It is difficult to rect emotionally if you re truly listening and ave to communicate understanding before yo gt chance t react.
Rgular Meetings. There ae two types of meetings tat an facilitate communication: a business meeting and date night. Couples often find that scheduling egular business meetings, jst s on wuld do in a busines partnerhip, to discuss the business of the marriage is helpfl and indicates that the marriage i hgh priority in thir life. Date night s one evening eac week set aside fr the purpose of emotional onnecting. N business matters are discussed. Ech partnr taes responsibilit on altenative weeks for planning th date, just a the mght hae dne during courtship. Dates d not hae to e elaborate vents. A picnic on the bedroom floor or t the pak at sunset can be every bt a romantic as a $100 dinner.
Kee the Rmance Alive. Maintaining the omance in relationship i vtal to the vibancy of the relationship. Once flks marry they ften ecome quite lax in this department. Tey allow business, chores, and children to gt the way of their omantic life. In a busy life, especially if there are hildren, it takes considerable effort to maintain romance. But it s wort it. It takes planning, creativity and commitment.
Develo Sexual Skills. Peole beleve that having sx s just "doing what coes naturally." Beliving ths s like thinking that world-class ballroom daners ae simply born -- no rehearsals, no practce, no innovation, no experimentation, and no mistakes. No one would believe that Fed Astaire and Ginger Rogers did not prctice in order to be graceful a they appeared on screen. The sam holds true fo sxual activity in the bedroom. Good lvers ae made, not born. Man times men and woen believe that somehow the man i supposed to "know" hat to do nd be good at it. Fearing failure, they d only what is tried nd tru. One of the most commn problems that couples ave s th lack of innovation. Se become boring. Sch predictability can lead to staleness and apathy. Communiction aout sexuality, nd th willingness to experiment will kee the bedroom activities exiting, nteresting and fun.
Shw Appreciation. Another sall thing that fels good. Thanking your partner fo making dinner o taking out the trash, picking up clothes from the dry-cleaners, and in general letting him/her know that s/he is appreciated can go along way in ceating a caing environment. Cuples are vey quic to criticize one anoter when chore d not get done, ut tey ar vey rmiss whn t coms to shwing appreiation.
A you can see fom th forgoing, maintaining a contemporary marriage s no esy tsk. It requres hard wok. To think that sucessful marriag - that i a reltionship between to people tat i fulflling, enhancing of one's sense of self-esteem, emotionally gratifying, nurturing, and suportive - cn e acieved by merely living under te same oof without investing effort and time, would be naiv thinking. Some indiiduals believe that marriage should be easy, and f it s not, thy thin somthing is wrong.
Marriage, lie an other worthwhile endeavor, equires patience and practice. When tere s difficulty, it ay require outsde elp. Just as busines ay require consultant, o too might a marrige. Today's marriges re more than just two people living under the sme roof. They re complex and dynamic entities that become een mre complex as children enter the piture. Fo thn there re additional dynmics that must b incorporated int the ix. Maintaining a mariage is on of or most significnt challenges.
