subject: Why Are Relationships So Hard? [print this page] Why Are Relationships So Hard? Why Are Relationships So Hard?
Relationships aren't always as easy as we'd like them to be. Good relationships take more than a little hard work. But, they are worth the effort in the end and, when properly cared for, can provide you with a lifetime of love, friendship, and companionship. There are some who would say that you only get one shot at a real and lasting love. I'm not sure I agree with that but there's no reason you shouldn't make the most of your opportunity because there is one thing that is definitely true. You're never guaranteed another shot.
There are no guarantees in life. You're not guaranteed that you'll have tomorrow much less that you'll be able to share tomorrow with the person you love most in the world. If all couples understood this and learned to live each day together as though it was their last day together, there would be fewer divorces, affairs, and breakups all around. The number one most common reason that people leave relationships is that they feel they are being taken for granted. No one wants to feel unwanted, unneeded, unloved, or unappreciated/disrespected.
People don't walk away when they feel loved, needed, wanted, and appreciated/respected. They don't turn their backs on those things. It's not about expensive gifts. It's not about the big house in the hills. It's about the small kindnesses, tokens of affection, and the feeling of being cherished that people stay. When you think about it, fights over money, fights over time, and even fights over what's for dinner can all boil down to one of those four themes (love, need, want, or appreciation/respect). Without them, it's hard to make a relationship work. If you don't learn to cultivate them in your relationship you're going to find yourself looking for ways to get your ex back all too soon.
Relationships aren't as hard as you've been led to believe. You don't have to spend every waking moment as a doormat in order to make your relationship work. People make relationships much harder than they have to be by failing to realize how important those four things are. But the good news is that it's never too late to start.
