subject: Why Your Husband Walked Out the Door [print this page] Why Your Husband Walked Out the Door Why Your Husband Walked Out the Door
If you have experienced that mind boggling moment of your husband walking out the door leaving behind him his role of being a husband and perhaps a father, chances are you are in shock.
You are feeling a wave of emotions that you can never remember experiencing like this before. Sure you have felt all of these individual emotions many times, and maybe a combination of a few, but never all of them at one given moment. It's like one big pot of emotional poison.
So what are you feeling? Well, probably numb, shocked, hurt, angry, frustrated, and scared. You can be most certain that you won't be thinking straight. The first thing you need to determine though, is why your husband left. What happened to the relationship? The reason you need to determine this, is because your first inclination is going to be to take all the blame for the marriage breakdown upon yourself. This may be in different forms however such as for example, you may think,
I shouldn't have been so stupid and stuck around for so long
I should have taken better care of my appearance
I should have seen this coming
I should have been a better partner
I shouldn't have married him in the first place
Every one of these thoughts is accepting the responsibility for his walking out the door. You need to remember that a marriage takes two to make it work, and a marriage breakdown takes two to implement it. In other words no one person is totally wrong. Yes, this is even applicable to the cheating husband.
So if hubby has left the home for good then why even bother trying to determine why? What does it matter? It matters because your self esteem has been rocked violently no matter who is responsible for what.
You need to come to grips where your weaknesses were and accept this, and hopefully not make the same mistake again. At the same time you need to be sure that you are not taking on any blame that is not yours. If you do this it will not only mar your self esteem but future relationships as well.
I know right now a future relationship is the furthest thing from your mind; you don't even want to think about men. Believe me though, once you come to grips with this husband abandonment, the healing process will be much quicker and much healthier.
You need to approach this part of the breakup first so that you can deal with all of the other emotions mentioned above. A husband leaving can leave permanent emotional scars that can have a direct effect on your future. When your husband walked out the door he took a part of you with him, but don't let him take your future happiness as well.
