subject: How You Can Survive After An Affair [print this page] How You Can Survive After An Affair How You Can Survive After An Affair
For the victim of the adultery, the choice will be -"should I end the relationship because of this?..Or is this just a 'bump in the road'?"
The cheating partner may well be thinking the same things. And, in addition, most probably they will also be considering if they have a chance of being accepted back to continue the relationship.
Obviously, there is no one solution as to how you can survive after an affair. But any solution, or more accurately, any attempt at one, must be rooted in patience and mutual respect.
In addition,getting past the infidelity to reclaim the love and re-establish trust, will take time and effort.
The most important component being committment. If both partners are committed to repairing the ruptured bond, success, in most cases, will simply be a question of "when" not "if."
The other, equally important consideration in healing from an affair, involves a "duality" that, at first glance, seems contradictory. But is, in fact, complimentary.
That duality is the ability to leave the infidelity in the past, but discuss the reasons for it, in the present.Without knowning why your partner cheated, it will be much more difficult, to arrive at the healing place you both desire.
So don't "rush to Judgement." Don't place the blame squarely on your partner's shoulders. Don't operate from a stance of righteous rage or indignation.This is the time to be open and conciliatory. Draw your partner out. Listen to their version of the infidelity. And the reason(s)for it.
Be open to the possibility that something you said or did, or did'nt say or do, may have caused them to feel alone and/or rejected. Resulting in them seeeking a greater sense of connection elsewhere.
Having this exchange, sharing honestly, and absorbing each other'sresponses is an essential step in surviving after the affair and rebuilding the lost trust.
It's also essential that your partner ceases all contact with the other person. And "all" incudes emails, letters and instant messages. A "clean start" to your relationship absolutley requires a "clean break."
Finally, don't leave success to chance by "going it alone." There's no reason to, when you get free online help on how you can survive after an affair.
