subject: Focus - The Determining Factor [print this page] Focus - The Determining Factor Focus - The Determining Factor
My name is Peterson Nesbit and I went from being a 220 lb alcoholic to a fit 155 lb man with a wonderful family. My main goal now is to help people become the best they can be. After I cleaned up and started looking at goals, focusing, and thinking positively one thing that I figured out was this: I was always a focused, goal directed person. I just focused on the wrong things.
For that matter, we are all extremely focused. Think of the alcoholic that has to have a drink, the over-eater that has to have another bite, and the chronic gambler that has to place one more bet.
We all have an intense focus for the things that give us short term comfort/success, but most of us lack the skill to transform our drive so that we can make real changes in our life. I don't know you, but I'm guessing that you have the same stuff in your soul that drives the Trumps and the Bill Gates of this world, and that's an unstoppable drive.
Understanding that we all have this drive, we just have to redirect our energy to make our tasks much less daunting.
Have you ever noticed that the person at work who can't wait to tell you how bad their job is seems to be unhappy at work? That the person who tells you they can't lose weight never seems to lose weight? As a personal trainer, I was always amazed at the number of overweight people who would give me 101 reasons why they were overweight and couldn't change but they would not give me 1 reason why they were going to get fit. I also noticed the people who focused on being fit almost magically became fit and stayed fit.
My advice for changing your focus:
#1. Concentrate on where you want to be, not where you are right now
#2. Design a pattern of action that will bring you closer to where you want to be. Example: if being out of shape is your issue, then eliminate one bad food a month and replace it with a healthy one. A big problem in making changes in our life is that we try to do too much, too quickly. We try to change 10 years worth of bad habits in a month and we inevitably get frustrated and revert to our comfort zone.
#3. Stay focused on your goals, and don't wait for approval from your loved ones. People who love you the most may tell you that you can't do that thing you want to do. They are telling you this because they think you will fail and don't want you to get hurt. And maybe, because they can't see themselves making changes, they don't think you will be able to make changes either.
#4. Keep track of your successes every month no matter how small. Write them down in a place where you can see them daily, such as your bathroom mirror, desk, sleep mode on your CPU--anywhere that will remind you of the progress that you're making.
#5. To keep yourself on track, reward yourself after achieving goals, but nothing big and nothing that will slow down your progress, Example: if you are trying to lose weight, a bad reward for dropping 5 lb is having a big old slice of cheesecake. It's better to get a new outfit or that pair of sunglasses you have had your eye on.
By doing these things, you will create good habits that will build on each other every day. Remember that "Rome wasn't built in a day". At times it will seem like nothing is working, but trust me, it is.
