subject: Should You Even Try to Get Your Ex Back? [print this page] Should You Even Try to Get Your Ex Back? Should You Even Try to Get Your Ex Back?
Believe it or not, it isn't always wise to try to get your ex back. Some relationships just aren't a good idea no matter how much you love the other person. There are relationships that are healthy and then there are some relationships that just seem to suck the life right out of you. But, how do you know the difference between the two? As odd as that sounds, it's sometimes much easier to recognize relationships that are really bad from the outside looking in than it is from the emotional level where you spend most of your time.
It's important to take a step back, away from the emotion and heartbreak that go along with breaking up and assess your relationship completely before you go through all the hassle of trying to save your relationship and make it work. There really are some situations, no matter how much you want to believe otherwise, when a relationship is better off for everyone involved ending than staying together. Sometimes breakups, like unanswered prayers, really are the best choice to make in the end. You may believe that you WANT to make your relationship work. You have no doubt at all that you still love your ex. You may even be good FOR your ex. But, is your ex good for you? You may both be good people. But, are you good TOGETHER? It could be that your ex realizes something that you haven't seen yet. Or, it could be that you really do have an excellent amount of potential in your relationship. But, in order to know for sure you'll need to ask yourself a few questions that will help you get a little emotional objectivity so that you can decide for yourself if you should get your ex back or not.
1) Is there abuse in the relationship? If the answer to this is yes, then it's time to walk away. It doesn't matter who is doing the abusing or what kind of abuse it is. It's not worth the long-term risks of staying in an abusive relationship on either side of the abuse.
2) Do you have more good times together than bad? This is an important question. If abuse has been eliminated as a problem then you need to really look back over the course of your relationship to see if the good outweighs the bad.
3) Is the love lopsided? You know what this means. Is there one person in the relationship who loves the other more? I'm not talking on a microscopic or even superficial level. But a major difference in the level of commitment of one person to the relationship isn't healthy for either person or the relationship.
