subject: Surviving Infidelity – How Strong is Your Marriage? [print this page] Surviving Infidelity How Strong is Your Marriage?
Is your marriage strong enough to survive infidelity? Most people have no idea what the answer to that question will be until it's happening to them. Is surviving infidelity your primary mission in life at the moment?
When it's happening to you, it does tend to consume your every waking thought. You aren't sure if you are strong enough to deal with a cheating spouse let alone making it through this trial by fire with your marriage in tact. It can seem much more like an impossible mission in the aftermath of a cheating spouse than ever before.
Not all marriages do manage to survive infidelity. But, your marriage can if you want it to. That's the first thing you really need to decide though. Do YOU want your marriage to get through this?
Your decision really is half the battle. Once you know WHAT you want, you can go about figuring how HOW to get it. It's really neat how that works out.
Here are a few ways you can save your marriage after your spouse has cheated that you may not have considered in the past. They will take you far beyond merely surviving infidelity and can help your marriage thrive despite the fact that your spouse cheated.
Make the first move. There's no shame in that. Be the one to extend the olive branch and see what a difference it makes to your spouse. The odds are good that your spouse isn't ready to leave either but thinks there's no hope. When you take that first step, it shows that HOPE is alive and your marriage is made of stronger stuff than either of you realizes.
Take no for an answer. No is not a forever kind of answer. The sooner you learn that the better off your efforts to save your marriage and survive infidelity will be. "No" means not right now. Sometimes it's best to retreat, regroup, and try again another day. Sometimes your spouse just needs a little time to realize how wonderfully good he or she has it with you. Give your spouse that time to realize that surviving infidelity and making your marriage work is what he or she really wants too.
Be strong enough to bend. There's a great song about how love can last forever if you're strong enough to bend. Bending is often, incorrectly, viewed as a sign of weakness or capitulation. But the truth is that it takes a stronger person to bend more often than not. There is no better incentive to bend out there than to save your marriage even after infidelity.
