subject: How to Deal With Difficult People - The Calamity Chicken Little [print this page] How to Deal With Difficult People - The Calamity Chicken Little
Their entire philosophy of life is built on the belief that the sky is falling, the sky is falling. Listen to their language. Chicken Little often says, "That won't work." If you protest, "How do you know that won't work?" you will hear something like, "Because it's obvious." You might say, "Obvious to whom?" Their response, "To any intelligent person." If you say, "It's not obvious to me," you are likely to hear, "Well, what does that say about you?"
Why do perpetually negative people act this way? Their behavior is based on their belief that other people do not care and are indifferent or self-serving, and any task that is not the Chicken Little's responsibility is doomed to fail. They are more deadly to the morale of the team than a speeding bullet, and have the ability to defeat a big idea with a single syllable. They fight a never-ending battle for futility, hopelessness and despair. Murphy's Law is their slogan - If anything can go wrong, it most definitely will.
What motivates the Calamity Chicken Little? They are convinced that they have very little power over their lives, and that those who have power can not be trusted. As children, they may have been unable to reconcile their disappointment that their parents or guardians were not perfect human beings, only fallible human beings.
Here are some ways to cope with this difficult type of person:
* Do not be drawn into their despair. Misery loves company.
* Express your realistic optimism. Say, "I don't think we've tried everything."
* Do not try to argue them out of their negativism.
* Calmly and without emotion, discuss the problem. "What is the worst thing that could happen?"
* When an alternative solution is being proposed, raise the question yourself of negative events that may occur before Chicken Little does. "That may not work either but it's worth a try."
* Be prepared to solve the issue yourself and announce your plans to do so. "I'm willing to write the proposal myself, but I do need your help. But I'll do it myself if I have to."
Do not create a Calamity Chicken Little by asking analytical people to act before they feel ready. Example: If you say, "Make the phone calls. I'll explain it all to you later," you may be responsible for creating a Chicken Little if the person is very cautious or methodical.
B. J. Rakow, Ph.D.
Executive Coach for Fortune 500 companies and Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So." You may read the first chapter free at Barnes & Noble: http://bn.com If you are interested in starting your own blog to earn money without investing one cent for a host or domain name, discover what I've learned as a blogger: http://Ublog4Money.blogspot.com
