subject: What to Do When You Want To Get Your Ex Back [print this page] What to Do When You Want To Get Your Ex Back
Before you do anything else, ask yourself a very important question. Do you really want her back? I'm serious. Take some time and really think about this, and be honest with yourself. Was the relationship all that great? Is she the love of your life, the woman you can't live without? I find most people like to be comfortable. They would rather keep what they have (even if they don't like it) than risk the unknown and going for what they really want out of fear of ending up with nothing. They convince themselves that they truly want what they have, but deep down inside they know it's a lie. Maybe this is the best thing that could happen. Maybe this is the kick in the pants that you need to get out there and find the relationship that you really want. Think about what worked in the relationship and what did not. What was missing that you really wanted from the relationship. If the answer to do I really want her back is no, then wish your ex well, and move on and find that perfect relationship. If the answer is yes, she is my one and only, then continue reading.
The next question to answer is does she still love you. It is very uncommon for lack of love to be the reason for relationship breakups. You need to ask yourself how you have changed from the guy she fell in love with. Guy's love the thrill of the hunt and we will do just about anything to get the girl. We will be sweet, kind, attentive, lavish her with gifts and praise, and always be on her best behavior. Once we have her then slowly we can start to slack off and over time we don't notice that we are neglecting all the little things that we did that made her fall in love with us. Identify those bad habits and mistakes.
If you just broke up, do not contact her for a few weeks. Let her think that you are fine and enjoining with your life. During this time I recommend that you do not date other women. She will think that you are over her and moving on to the next relationship. After a couple of weeks you can drop her email asking how she is. This shows her that you are thinking of her. Invite her to reply. This is an easy way to try to open up the lines of communications. Don't go crazy with this. If she does not reply to the first email do not send more. Likewise if she does reply don't flood her with phone calls or emails. She will think you are crazy and/or desperate. Neither one is an attractive quality.
Try to invite her to a public event with a group of friends. This is a non-committal way of seeing her in a social setting again. If she does come, pay attention to her but do not spend all your time with her. Chat with friends and other women if they are part of your group. Keep the activity fun and don't get into serious talk about the relationship. There will be time for that later.
