subject: End the Affair Once and for All - This Is the Only Right Way to Do It! [print this page] End the Affair Once and for All - This Is the Only Right Way to Do It!
So you want to end the affair but you are not sure what the best way of doing it is. There are many ways that you can try to do it but only one has been proven to work. All other ways eventually lead to the resumption of the affair. So what is the correct way to end an affair?
Let's look at the wrong way of doing it first:
You try to wean your lover off: Good idea on the surface but if you are serious about stopping your infidelity, this is probably the worse way to do it. Addicts are almost never successful at weaning themselves away from the substances that they abuse, no matter how strong or how good their intentions. Cheating spouses are the same way. Eventually, continued contact with their lover, no matter how innocent, will eventually lead to a resumption of the affair.
You decide to become just friends: this is pretty much the same as above. If you think that you and your lover can meet up for coffee or lunch without any issues, you will probably find out soon enough that this is not the case. You or your paramour will eventually be tempted by circumstances. An inside joke that you shared when you were lovers, a familiar setting that rekindles old desires. Something is bound to happen and it will.
You do not want to hurt his or her feelings: Face it! The truth is that unless your affair was purely physical, there is no way to spare your lover's feelings. No matter what you say, be prepared to hear arguments and possibly even pleas to reconsider. After all, your lover must have been getting some benefit from the relationship or they would not be a party to the infidelity. Do not be swayed by such appeals and prepare yourself to face a painful situation when you end the affair. You must be strong and resist all temptations to reconsider your course.
From the examples above, you can see that there really is only one way to end the affair with any hopes of success and with minimum drama. You must end the relationship in all its form. Make the decision to cross that bridge and burn it behind you with a steadfast resolution to never go back. Your final contact should not be in person because of all the things we mentioned above. Do it on the phone if you can and make sure you use language that leaves no room for ambiguity. The exercise may be painful but it is necessary. For all the reasons mentioned earlier there is no "easy" way to do this. If you want out in order to focus on your spouse and family relationships you need to end the affair right away and this is the way to do it!
