subject: Self-sabotage and Limiting Beliefs – How to Avoid It [print this page] Self-sabotage and Limiting Beliefs How to Avoid It
"If you raise your standards but don't really believe you can meet them, you've already sabotaged yourself. Our beliefs are like unquestioned commands, telling us how things are, what's possible and what's impossible. Anthony Robbins
It is said that if we redistributed equally among the population all the money available in the world, in less than five years, almost everyone would be financially right back where they were before. Earning money is not all that hard but believing that we deserve that money certainly is. It may sound unbelievable but it's the truth.
Time and time again, we see people enjoying a certain degree of success, and then all of a sudden, these people will do something unbelievable stupid and loose it all. Instead of enjoying success, these people felt more and more uncomfortable as their affluence grew. Why is that?
The answer to that question is simple. We don't feel comfortable where we don't fit. All our life, we've been surrounded by points of reference to guide us. Observing the behavior of our peers and the results of those behaviors creates these points of reference. That's how we acquire the expertise necessary to guide our own behavior.
However, when we are placed in a setting where those points of references no longer exist, we feel uncomfortable and lost as if we were in a strange land. Humans are creatures of habits. We feel comfortable in familiar surroundings but once out of that comfort zone, stress and uncertainty take over. We have a fundamental need to relate to familiar surroundings.
Anyone who was raised in modest financial surroundings will feel more comfortable and "at home" in these surroundings. Strange as it may seem, a substantial increase on the bank account will bring more stress than pleasure. Wearing a crown does not make a king and a fat bank account does not make a person rich. Both of these status are character traits. A king in rags will still be a king and a rich man without money will still be rich.
We have to be, before we can do, before we can have. A wealthy person must feel wealthy before he can be comfortable and at ease in that role. If not, chances are very high that the person will sabotage his success and land exactly where he was before.
Before a person can enjoy the benefits of wealth, an identity change is essential. The reason for that is that so much importance has been attached to money that is has created a false notion of what it is.
Our money is not who we are. The money that we own is simply a resource at our disposal that can be used to acquire objects or to influence our world. By itself, money does not change us or change the way that we feel. Our money is a resource and nothing else. A resource over which we are been given stewardship for an unknown period of time.
A good indicator of our propensity for self-sabotage is the way that we feel in the presence of people of affluence. If we feel right at home we're OK. On the other hand, a person who would feel intimidated or ill at ease faces a red warning light. That's a sign that the specter of self-sabotaging looms nearby and is just waiting for any sign of success to gleefully attempt to crush it.
Most of the time, we are our own worst enemy. We seek success and destroy it when it comes. The only possible way of preventing that is by changing the way that we see ourselves. We have to be successful in our own heart before we can stand to see it in our bank account. Sounds strange but that's the way that it is.
