subject: Are There Spoiled Children In Your Home ? – Your Must Know Guide In Getting To Grips With The Problem [print this page] Are There Spoiled Children In Your Home ? Your Must Know Guide In Getting To Grips With The Problem
If you are think you might have spoiled children in your house, look out for the following telltale signs. They will be very demanding children and they will kick up a terrible fuss when they do not get their way or are denied something. They will also tend to be domineering and will soon be in control of the house if you are not careful.
It does not end there either as these children when they become adults are more than likely to suffer from mental health problems such as depression and may have problems in maintaining stable relationships. This is because they usually expect everybody to do what they want and they have no right to question that!
I was very interested to read a book recently, called How To Unspoil Your Child Fast by Dr David Bromfield. He has very accurately pinpointed the roots of spoiling children. These are usually a desire to indulge children, to give them what parents themselves may not have had and also to a certain extent to protect them. But that protection can be over weaning and they will not suffer any pain, loss. disappointments or any of the negative life experiences which can also teach us life coping skills.
They cannot possible learn what life is really about if every little whim is granted. Every problem solved and everything served up on a platter. If that is the case, we are just preparing them to be bossy, arrogant, demanding and creating in them unrealistic expectations.
The first thing parents have to realize is that if they never praise positive and acceptable behavior, then there is not enough positive reinforcement of this. If disruptive and unacceptable behavior is a problem and that is the only behavior that gets any attention, then we are creating a precedent for getting noticed. The child learns that by playing up, he may get more attention. That is why not nearly enough emphasis is put on the good behavior.
Many parents cannot be bothered to set the limits which means that the child knows no limits and acts accordingly. The seeds are being sown for spoiled children and they will know nothing about patience, respect for others, waiting for their turn and they will become mouthy and impolite.
The other classic example of spoiled children is when they blame everybody else for their problems, lack of progress at school or whatever. This stems from the fact that they are not taught to be accountable for their actions. They do not have any idea what taking responsibility for their actions actually involves.
These are just a few examples why spoiled children are such a common feature of family life to-day. If some of the above strategies were followed, then this problem would be halved and many parents would be able to get to grips with raising kids who are responsible and caring.
