subject: How to Handle Criticism – An Essential Step on the Ladder to Success [print this page] How to Handle Criticism An Essential Step on the Ladder to Success
A man's capacity to climb the ladder of success is directly proportional to his ability to handle criticism. The higher the post, the more the person occupying it will be subjected to personal attacks, verbal abuses and disrespectful comments. It goes with the territory.
That is not to say that people are fundamentally negative. Far from it, most people are kind and respectful however, these gentle souls are not the ones who make the most noise and whose action stands out at the end of the day. The ones that will stand out when all is said and done will be the negative few. At least, this will be the case for the unprepared or ill equipped mind.
Scientific experiences have shown that it takes a minimum seventeen positive experiences to erase the sting of a single negative incident. And that is a very conservative view. In some cases a negative experience will leave and indelible scar that will withstand the test of time.
Dale Carnegie relates the incident where, due to youth and inexperience, he wrote a letter to a famous author where he ended the message with the notation, (DBNR) which stands for, "Dictated but not read." A custom that was used by prominent people at the time. The author returned the letter with the notation, "Your bad manners are only exceeded by your bad manners." Carnegie said that, to his shame, the only thing that he could remember about that author, when he died twenty-five years later, was the hurt that the man had caused him.
Rebukes, criticisms and faintly disguised insults hurt and they can hurt for a lifetime unless a man has develop the wherewithal necessary to handle those negative inputs. It is entirely possible to become impermeable to most negative personal attacks. I say "most" attacks because there will always be people who are very close to us who may retain the ability to push our buttons and manipulate us but those are a small minority.
There is not hundreds of way that we can galvanize ourselves against personal attacks. There is only one. At one time, a solemn decision has to be taken to change the way that we perceive ourselves. From that point on, we will see ourselves as being strong enough to stay above the fray and strong enough to no longer let criticisms and insults affect us. That is something that any mature person can do.
A mature person will understand that words by themselves carry no inherent meaning. As an example, would anyone be hurt if a three years old child said that you were a fool. Of course not. You would be above that. So, if it can be done with a child, why could it not be done with an adult?
Words have no meaning except the meaning that we give them and no one can insult you unless you are willing to accept whatever was said as an insult. We have the final say on how we will accept any opinion or statement. Anyone can have an opinion but we certainly don't have to share it.
Handling criticism comes down to self-perception and self-perception can be changed. Most of the time it's a matter or growing up. It is deciding that we are now mature enough and strong enough not to let other's opinion affect and influence us.
That change in self-perception is a stage in self-growth that every leader and every successful person had to go through at one point in their life. It could be that today is the day that you decide to take the step.
