subject: Words to Soothe the Savaged Soul of Your Wife After You've Cheated [print this page] Words to Soothe the Savaged Soul of Your Wife After You've Cheated
Cheating on your wife does so much more than hurt her feelings. Most men fail to see the deep down wounds that something like that does to women. There are many reasons you don't see this and few of them have to do with you.
The odds are good that your wife has gone to great lengths to hide the full impact your cheating has had on her. She may have allowed you to see the hurt and maybe even some of the anger but there are other emotions that are running deep that she will make every effort now and in the future to hide from you.
The real knock out punch is that these feelings will never occur to you because that's just not how you think. So the fears and emotions continue boiling beneath the surface while nothing is done to solve the problem at hand.
It's NOT your fault. But it is something you can fix if you learn how.
First things first. You have to figure out what's going on in your wife's mind and heart. The big problem for your wife is that your cheating brings out every insecurity she has and magnifies them exponentially. The worst thing, as far as she's concerned, isn't how it makes her feel about you. It's how the fact that you've cheated makes her feel about herself.
Your wife is feeling not only unloved but also completely and totally unlovable. She feels ugly. She feels fat. She feels unappealing, unintelligent, unwanted, and generally not good enough for you. Why else would you cheat on her after all that she does for you?
That's the crux of it. She FEELS unappreciated.
Don't get caught up in the logic of this. That will only start another war that your China collection might not be able to survive. Trust me. She feels unappreciated and that is going to be at the heart of every problem you have now and in the future.
Your mission for the moment is to do whatever is necessary to make your wife feel like the woman of worth you know her to be. TELL her how you feel. Let her know how much you appreciate her. Make her feel like you couldn't make it through a day without her help.
The odds are, you've come to depend on the little things she does for you every day that you'd have a much harder time of things without her. Your words are the best tools you have at your disposal. Use words to build her up and your marriage will be rebuilt in the process.
