subject: How To Save My Ailing Marriage- Can Separation Work! [print this page] Listening to your partner tell you that they want a separation can make you feel as if your world has just caved in. However the reality is that many marriages hit turbulent patches and either partner may feel the need for some time and space away from their current marital situation. So if you are in a similar situation and you are asking "how to save my ailing marriage", then you need to know that separation is not final. It could indeed work the opposite way and help to save your marriage if handled correctly.
One of the first rules about separation is to understand why a person would need some time away from you. When a couple is having marital problems it can be difficult to resolve situations when you are both constantly at loggerheads. If you are angry with your spouse and they are constantly there, then the resentment will grow towards your partner and eventually you will both become alienated. Having that time and space apart will allow you both to focus on your marriage in a calm and rational manner.
One of the best ways to handle separation is to give your partner the time and space they require. Allocate a time scale, say 1 month, and tell them that you will contact them after that month is up. Do not call them or contact them in any way, as it is important that you both focus on your marriage and how to save it, without any distractions from the other party.
When you come together after your allotted time, then talk about what you both want from the relationship, and how you are going to achieve this. Tell your partner that you accept part responsibility for the relationship breakdown and you are prepared to work at it on your part to give it another go. When your partner sees that you are willing to take the bull by the horns and make changes to fix your marriage crisis, then they should, and probably will, start to look at you in a more positive way. This is turn will hopefully spur them on into sorting out their end of the deal.
Resolving a trial separation is merely only the start. It is a long journey that will take time and effort on both sides.
