subject: Less monogamous [print this page] Less monogamous Less monogamous
Is infidelity a nature, genetic trait or simply an attitude acquired depending the personal reasoning given by any given person?
In the history of mankind, sexual intimacy did not begin with fidelity. Male and female met, mated, and separated in the same manner as almost all other animals. So, there was no such thing as infidelity. Men were lured by sex and eventually communities developed and so did marriage. Marriage was no more than a means of survival. Marriage existed in the context of procreation. Infidelity was not even a thought. Only until the Holy Roman Empire and canonical law were at their peak did marriage become a holy sacrament. Love was not a major concern in a marriage. Marriage back then was about keeping or adding wealth in or to a family.
This will be a more basic approach, given the fact that this subject is big in opinions from both men and women. It seems to me that infidelity among women is on the rise, although men are still the leading sex. Is anyone faithful anymore? Modern life presents us with numerous ways to cheat: texts, direct messages, or plain old-fashioned affairs. Is infidelity really betrayal?
We are probably less monogamous than we used to be. We're perhaps having extended flirtation; special, ostensibly platonic lunch dates with people we see more regularly than we'd like our partners to know. We are, at the very least, testing the borders of fidelity via the medium of text message, or Facebook connections, or Twitter exchanges.
What qualified as flirtation and what crossed the line? What do we consider infidelity? What makes an adulterer-in-waiting?
This are questions that we should ask ourselves, before we go into a relationship, or if we are in one, what ever our opinions are if our partner agrees or shares the same morals and principles.
This topic can cut some nerves, since we are all from different backgrounds, different religions, and upbringing.
There are few reliable statistics relating to infidelity. It's not the kind of thing people tell the truth about, or have ever told the truth about. Psychologists think men traditionally overstate their infidelities, while women understate. Some suggest that women have always cheated but are not more open about it; no more than 60 years ago women still couldn't vote, nor work, or study. Back at the height of the sexual revolution, the Playboyphilosophy and its Cosmopolitan counterpart urged infidelity as a way to keep men manly, women womanly, and marriage vital. Lately, in such books as Annette Lawson's Adultery and Dalma Heyn's The Erotic Silence of the American Wife, women have been encouraged to act out their sexual fantasies as a blow for equal rights
Intelligences suggest we're having more affairs than ever. We're presented with more opportunities to cheat. We work more and travel more, and consequently are more absent from our homes. The evolving landscape of technology means we are connected sometimes intensely and continuously with many more people than before. Technology also means that the very definitions of infidelity have broadened. And yet we're still incredibly reverent about, and attached to, the ideal of monogamy. But sadly we are contradicting our actions with our emotions, why are we living this dichotomy? Why do we persist in having affairs, persist in believing in monogamy, when we're not comfortable with or especially capable of either?
Infidelities main point is that eroticism comes not from closeness, not from intimacy, but from precisely the opposite. From distance, from moments of jealousy, from a constant awareness that you do not own your partner no matter how long you've been together; that other people fancy them; that they always have the potential to sleep with someone else. If we believe that we can revisit our ideas on infidelity, start properly understanding why we do it, become more tolerant of the fact that we do it, then we're in with a better chance of maintaining a happy marriage, or steady relationship.
Infidelity is one of the great recurring themes of the human experience. We are not monogamous. Monogamy is human, but human beings are not monogamous, by nature, historically we have always been unfaithful.
How far, is too far in the quest of intimacy?"My husband has over the years proven himself incapable of being there for me emotionally." "Recently, I have come to recognize the void within me." "My female friends have veiled my awareness, giving me intimacy." Some suggest that cheating is a facelift and antidepressant in one but much cheaper.
Doors for temptation have to be close: husband having female friends, wife having male friends, going out every weekend with friends. That is why being in a real relationship: marriage, engagement, or long-term girl/boyfriend has to be a wise decision now days.
This responsibility has to be more serious; proving this point 3 out 5 marriages are ending in divorces, in the United States, indicated by Barna Group, which conducts surveys in regards to why couples divorce; Where Religion num. 1, and infidelity num. 2. Most regularly invoked figures such as The Americans for Divorce Reform estimates that probably, 40 or possibly even 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce if current trends continue.
Roughly 30-40% of those in a marriage or long-term relationship will be somewhat unfaithful at some point. Women were examined among a nationally representative sample of 6,493 women aged 2044 from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth, concluded an American female would of have no less that 10 sexual partners, whom she would call all boyfriends.
Is not about affecting your point of view, but questioning it. We have to ask ourselves if the way we think is proper, is decent, and think about the future. If you plan to have children, how proud would they be that you where a cheated to their father/mother? How great would your daughter feel knowing that all thought college you had different sex partners just because you could, at the same time. We are evolving, but basic principles and moral stand have to have basic, old fashion foundation.
Not far fetch from the topic, this is intended to make us question the values we give to our relationships, in today's world. Why our grandparents still married after 45 years, and our sister got married 5 years ago and is planning on getting a divorce.
