subject: Men's Health Identifies Five Paths to Infidelity [print this page] Men's Health Identifies Five Paths to Infidelity
Learning the most common causes of infidelity and how to deal with them can help men avoid becoming a cheating partner, according to "Flirting With Disaster," an article by Samantha Cleaver in the April 2009Men's Healthmagazine. Cleaver presents five paths to infidelity that have been identified by researchers and provides ways to avoid becoming an unfaithful husband.
Genetics May Play a Role in Marital Affairs Men who are more likely to stray may not be as affectionate as their partners would like, Cleaver says, due to a variation of a gene that controls the release of the hormone vasopressin. This hormone encourages bonding and protective feelings in men. A 2008 study at Stockholm's Karolinska Institute showed men who have the variation of the gene are more likely to have problems with commitment and relationships.Even men who have the genetic variation are not doomed to commit adultery and can take steps to prevent marital affairs. All married men can benefit from taking additional steps to encourage bonding and intimacy. Activities like creating opportunities for intimacy and having sex may increase vasopressin and encourage bonding in married couples. Men can look for opportunities to build closeness throughout the day that will encourage their wives to respond with loving gestures or other contact.
Costs of Cheating Married Men Must ConsiderThe most common questions men ask themselves when considering adultery is if there is a chance to cheat and will they get caught, according to a study Cleaver cites by Bryant University's Edinaldo Tebaldi, Ph.D., and University of New Hampshire's Bruce Elmslie, Ph.D. Women, by contrast, tend to weigh the costs and benefits of being married and cheating.In order for men to be less at risk for starting a martial affair, they need to take the time to truly weigh the pros and cons of becoming a cheating partner, according to M. Gary Neuman, marriage therapist and author ofThe Truth About Cheating[Wiley, 2008]. Neuman recommends men consider what they would be losing over the long-term. Men should spend more time at home when they feel temptation, since men who do cheat tend to spend increasing amounts of time away from home before committing adultery. Neuman recommends men tell their wives that there is a problem and that they work together to improve marital problems.
Men Must Identify Threats to MarriageA recent McGill University study shows that unlike women, who tend to view attractive men as threats to their marriage, men don't necessarily make this connection with attractive women. In fact, Cleaver says men tend to let their guard down too much in social situation with women.Men can make an effort to be more conscious of when they are getting into a situation that could threaten their marriages. Before heading into a social setting with a lot of women, men can decide how they will react if they are placed in certain situations. Using if-then contingencies can help men be more adept at identifying risks and avoiding them.
