subject: Projects For Fathers and Sons [print this page] Projects For Fathers and Sons Projects For Fathers and Sons
It has been observed that men tend to "do relationships" best in a side-by-side setting. In other words, men generally have an easier time of relating to one another when they are involved in an activity together. Whether it be a sport, a home improvement project, or simply going for a walk, men are often more willing to be vulnerable with one another when they are busy doing something else. While it is essential that men also learn to "do relationships" in a face-to-face setting as well, it is important to understand that men relationally thrive when involved in activity. This is especially significant when trying to develop your relationship with your son.
Despite your best efforts, your son might not want to tell you how his day really was when you ask. He may not be willing to open up to you about the stuff he is going through at school. He may run from a conversation about the "birds and the bees." Many young men put up walls during preadolescent and adolescent years. It takes persistence and patience to help your son bring those walls down in order to let you in. Spending lots of time with your son is one way to encourage openness. Pursue your son in one-on-one activities as a way of creating the opportunity to talk. Remember, you create the opportunity, but it is up to your son to open upyou can't force him to share, but you can present yourself as a listening ear as you pursue him.
Here are a few one-on-one activities that you may consider as you create opportunities for sharing and relationship building:
Fishing. Though fishing is an enjoyable form of leisure, there is a lot of dead space to fill. Between the time spent traveling to the lake and the time spent between bites, there is a lot of empty space. This empty space provides an opportunity to talk and to share.
One-on-One Sports. Some sports are better suited than others in fostering relationships. Ironically it is those sports typically called "individual" sports where the best opportunity for relationship building exists: tennis, golf, horseshoes, cornhole, canoeing, hiking, etc.
Home Improvement Projects. If you are looking to have some improvements made to your home, consider making them yourself and including your son in the process. You can be an example for your son at trying new things and it will be a positive thing to see you learning new things as well. For instance, you may have never used an air compressor before, but if you are going to put new siding on your house, you may have to use an air compressor extensively. You might not know what an air oil separator is or where to put the compressor oil, but you can learn, and as you do, your son will too. Pretty soon he will be able to tell you where to put the compressor oil and how an air oil separator works! If you aren't adventurous enough to try a home improvement project "for real," start small. Hang some dry wall in the attic, or put in a spare bathroom in the basement. You can always create a project for the purpose of learning and relationship building.
