subject: A devil's diary [print this page] A devil's diary A devil's diary
A DEVIL'S DIARY
- Dr. J.S. Anand
It was a night of rapture. Drinks and dancing went up to 1.00 a.m. I got up very late. It is 9.30 in the morning.
Chintu, bring a cup of tea for me' . For the last 10 years, I have changed 20 servants.
Wife?' she left me, or I left her... we both left each other... it was ten years ago, she was a bitch, involved with a colleague in the office.
I could not stand it. And she could not stand my relationships. So, we decided to part ways.
kids?' we did'nt have any.
My father, I don't know much about him, he used to crib.... when I was born.... my upbringing was useless.... both in service, none cared for me..... I was a rotten child.... better to have none .... so ....
Tea comes. Chintu stands waiting. Get my clothes ironed.
He leaves.
Don't you feel lonely?'
Me? Lonely?'... I am never alone. At office, busy. Till 9.00 p.m. dinner in some hotel. And then partying. When am I alone? Where is the time to feel lonely?'
Are you happy?' I have no other choice.
Do you have a heart?' Heart, God, Blessings, ...I know nothing of. I know of only work.
Work for whom? You have no kids....?' Work for the sake of work. I have to pass time. I have to pass the day. I have to pass the night. How can I do so by sitting idle? Moreover, money is required for kicks. ..
You still have women?'... what is wrong in it. I had them when I was married. It is a way of life ....
Don't you think you will slip into oblivion and there won't be anyone to remember you?' My father has left me behind. I never remember him.
Your brothers and sisters'.... I have, but they are busy with their lives. We don't interact.
what is the most important job for a person on this earth, in your opinion?' To enjoy life.
Are you enjoying it?' of course. I have money.
Are you really happy?' what happy'? you seem to be mad.
I am living. I am enjoying. I have bank balance. I have no wife. I have no parents. No kids. Only kicks. I am all by myself. What is wrong?
It was a perfect package. A totally dehumanized specimen of a man. Entirely gone over to the lost. Torn from society, fragmented, stolen from the self. A highly self-centred hollow.
