subject: Child Behavior Problems And Homework - Getting Out Of The Rut And Back In Control [print this page] Child Behavior Problems And Homework - Getting Out Of The Rut And Back In Control
You may be wondering how on earth you can deal with a child behavior problem like trying to get your child to do homework when he never actually does it. He may do it occasionally and he may do it carelessly at times but it seems to you like a losing battle.
If you can stand back and observe what is happening when these problems arise, it sometimes gives us a useful insight. We want to observe why the child is not motivated and we want to avoid the nagging and the threatening which has got us nowhere up to now. We want to be able to instil some motivation so it seems that we should be using a completely different strategy.
Strangely enough, just by taking a step back, you can achieve a calmer atmosphere. You can simply de-escalate the situation and not get involved in the usual arguments. You gain in keeping calmer, and the atmosphere is much less tense than it is normally.
But you have to set limits and you cannot abandon the whole homework issue but you can easily stop all the arguments since the limits are in place. I know parents who insist that homework is done at a certain time every night and that no other activities are allowed to get in the way. Parents also advocate a quiet public area for doing this because that is more easily monitored.
Matching results with screen time allowed is sometimes a good idea. The more good grades he is getting, the more screen time he is allowed and vice versa when grades start to fail. Time for homework is closely related to results so this can be a great motivator.
The secret here is to get the structures in place and then step back. Otherwise we are not really encouraging kids to take responsibility and suffer the consequences for not doing the homework. We need to stand back. In this way child behavior problems are going to diminish because we are no longer in the front line ready for a fight.
At the same time, we can let him know that we are there to help him plan his homework time better if he does need help. We are not actually going to help him with the tasks themselves because that is just getting too involved. We are encouraging him to make choices, to take responsibility and to seek help when he needs it. There is nothing wrong with helping him plan the actual homework.
These then are just a few of the techniques we can implement if we are concerned about child behavior as regards homework. I know parents who have learned some great techniques when dealing with child behavior problems from the guide I recommend below. It was godsend to them and can also be a great tool for you to get back in control.
