subject: Internet Dating: Getting Started [print this page] Internet Dating: Getting Started Internet Dating: Getting Started
There are plenty of articles on the internet about online dating. However, most of them assume you already use dating websites, and the just focus on ways to improve your online success. They might suggest ways to write a better profile, or have creative ways of writing a message to someone online.
However, what if you've never used online dating services before? And what if you are a complete novice when it comes to the internet and dating? Well, this article is for you! We'll help you by taking the process of online dating step-by-step, whether you're looking online for new relationship, a new friend, or are just curious.
The first step is to carefully think about what sort of person you're looking for, and how much you're prepared to pay (this can range from 'nothing' to whatever amount you're comfortable with) to find them using internet dating services.
The reason for this strategy is there are a vast number of different dating sites - some where you can meet people of all ages; other sites which are instead focussed on a more particular market - perhaps the site is only for people over 40, or it's a site for gay and lesbians only. These smaller 'boutique' sites offer a targeted audience and using them can be a good option if you the person you're seeking falls into a certain group.
Once you've agreed who you're looking for, and the kinds of dating sites where you'll find them, maybe ask around and see if you anyone you know has used online dating, and what particular sites they might recommend. Another avenue of research might be doing internet searches on the site names you're considering - and see what people are saying about those sites in blogs or forums.
Once you've chosen a particular site, the usual first step is to 'join' or 'register' on that site. Many sites will let you browse or 'tour' their site without requiring you to join. This is a good way of letting you decide if the site is for you, or not.
This 'join up' phase is often a 'no cost' step - most sites won't charge you money to do this. To join a particular site, look for a button or link on the site's homepage (something like 'join now'). Click this, and you will probably next see an on-screen form, where you type-in relevant information about yourself (this is usually called your 'profile', and can include a photo of yourself as well as text), and information about the person you're looking to meet, your 'ideal match'. The form will also let you create a 'username' - this is the name that others on the site will know you by, and it protects your privacy. And finally, you will choose a password, so that you can safely login to the site in future.
Once that whole 'joining' process is done, you're free to get started, by searching the site to view other people's profiles. You can do a general search (for instance, 'all women in Arizona between the ages of 30 and 35), or you could narrow it down even further. Some sites allow you to narrow the search criteria so that you can specify that you'd only like to see search results of people with a certain eye colour, height range, hair colour, and so on. General searches typically get too many profiles showing up in the search results, taking you many hours to view each one. Narrowing the search will give you fewer, more specific profiles to look at.
What happens next is that if you see someone's profile you like, you can send them a message, using the dating site. A simple pre-defined message can often be sent at 'no charge'. This is sometimes known as a 'wink' or a 'kiss'. Look for a button on the person's profile page that indicates you can contact them.
If you're more adventurous, you can send a longer message (some sites will only allow you to send longer messages), rather like an email, but using the site's built-in messaging system. Paid dating sites will charge a fee for sending a message. Free dating sites usually don't cost anything to send messages. Some paid sites, on the other hand, will not charge 'per message', but charge you a monthly fee to send as many messages as you like.
A paid site will typically provide more features, and be better organised. However, there are many great free sites, and nearly all of those won't cost you a cent. They are often smaller operations that are run by enthusiasts. They make their income by having advertising on the site. Some sites will be permanently 'free' for a range of basic services, but might charge an additional cost for 'premium' features.
What to write in your first message to someone whose profile interests you? Well, there's many articles on the internet about that whole process, and many others about how to write a profile that gets you lots of attention. I suggest you search for, and read, many of those articles - as they are often very helpful!
This article instead has been mostly a simple introduction for novices, about the general steps you'll need to take or consider, to get you started with online dating.
In summary, internet dating is a convenient and secure way to meet new people, and I hope you now have the confidence to give it a try - it's worked for me, and I'm sure it will work for you too!
