subject: Ten Tips for Self-Control When You Are Angry [print this page] Ten Tips for Self-Control When You Are Angry
Thousands of mothers lose their tempers with their kids. The first step toward overcoming this condition is recognizing that you have a problem and knowing you must do something about it to save yourself and your children. Once you take hold of your temper, you will want to take hold of your children, hug them and never let them go.
In the meantime, you can also follow these tips for self-control:
1. Know your anger well enough to stop it. The moment your rage starts to build, stop what you're doing and head to a safe place in your house. Close your eyes, take deep breaths and give yourself 30 seconds to calm down.
2. Catch yourself with a few catch phrases. Come up with a few "catch phrases" to calm you down when you feel your anger is starting to build. "He's only six," is a good one.
3. Think about explaining your behavior to your child when he is an adult. Picture trying to explain screaming or hitting your son, years from now. That alone can be a sobering thought that keeps your anger from erupting.
4. Think tug-of-war: If you lose focus, you lose the game. You are in a real battle to stay in control. It's you against your temper, and you really want to win.
5. Let yourself laugh at them, at yourself and at life. Kids throw things, run around and ask questions. If you admit from the start that you can't control them completely, you'll be less upset when they spill something or ask for a toy 50 times.
6. Ask your kids for help. It's okay to let them take care of you a little bit. Kids are more likely to respond to sincere requests for help than to angry outbursts.
7. Look in the mirror. It's hard to stay enraged when you're staring yourself in the face.
8. Wash your face with cold water when things are heating up. It'll calm you down.
9. Deep breath in and out will actually help you stay in control.
10. Tell someone about it. Don't reach for your kid, reach for your phone. Call a trusted friend or your partner. Tell that person that you're at wits end and really need to hear something to calm you down.
