subject: Single After 40: Dating Can Work For You [print this page] Being single after 40 can be depressing because youre at a crossroads in your life and youre not really sure which way you want to head. But finding soulmate love is not about age or anything like that: its more about understanding and loving yourself so someone else can follow suit and do the same love you for who you are, not what you are.
Being Single after 40 Doesnt Mean the End
Women generally tend to lose faith in their looks and attractiveness after the age of 40. They feel that they have to compete with younger women in the race to find soulmate love. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth but unfortunately, many women sink into depression at the very thought of growing old and still being single. This can lead to excessive eating or getting overly attached to their careers or even shunning friends in favor of ice cream and cable.
To combat these feelings of insecurity, you must first understand that even though the biological clock is figuratively ticking away, you can take control of your life. If youre keen on kids, consider artificial insemination or even adoption. Just because you havent found soulmate love yet, it doesnt mean you have to put your life on hold.
Learning to Let Go
The trick to finding a soulmate is to not be obsessed with the results. Often, women find that once they start to focus on other, positive things, they ironically find a soulmate shortly after. If youre prepared to live out your life alone, then chances are that you will be led to someone you can share your old age with. The important thing here is to accept what you have, hope for what you dont have and let fate do the rest.
The basic mental paradigm shift that you may need to go through is to love yourself. Self-loathing will not get you anywhere; after all, who would want to love a sourpuss who is always looking at the dark side of the moon. Once you start loving yourself, only then can love beget love. Self-love can be a wonderful thing as long as its not an obsession (that is, dont become a narcissist thats the other extreme of self-hate); if you genuinely love, respect and appreciate yourself, chances are that youll find a soulmate with the greatest of ease.
Finally, learn to let go of the past. If youve got baggage that youre still carrying around, dump it as quickly as you can. Talk to a friend, counsel with someone even a professional. Do whatever it takes to start afresh; you have a new lease on life now so make the best of it.
