subject: Nightmarish First Dates [print this page] Being asked out is pretty flattering considering how difficult it is. Girls are lucky because it isnt really our jobs to ask guys out. For me, first dates used to suck because I was always worrying about things like whether I looked good enough or if my date was having a good time (or not). Another reason why I was terrified of a first date was that I got tongue-tied I just didnt know quite what to say. There were even times when the conversation I had planned out in my head wasnt going that way, and there were also a few times when I kept saying the wrong things. Needless to say, these worries did not get me second dates.
After a while though (translate: a few years after), things got better because I had learned to relax. How did I do it? In my case, the keyword was comfortable.
Comfortable clothes
I like primping as much as the next girl. I used to do the works for a first date: killer clothes, killer shoes, and killer make-up. The thing is killer anything did not do much for a first date except make me more self-conscious. When dressing for a first date, I learned to prioritize my comfort. I always chose something I was comfortable in but looked good in. In other words, clothes that allowed me to move freely. I remember one guy telling me that though I looked good in a tube dress, constricted movements caused by a tight dress was not attractive. Of course, I got offended because he gave me a barbed compliment. In the end, though, I realized he was just being kind.
Comfortable conversation
Once my date and I get talking, keeping the conversation light allowed us to find things in common. I also learned that by no means should a girl ask about her dates ex. I did this a few times (10 times to be exact) with different guys, and the results were more or less the same: we ended up talking about why his ex was such a terrible person and why he was right and she was wrong. Although these guys asked me out on second dates, the topic stayed the same. Those times though were spent listening to how much my date still liked the ex. At first, it felt okay to ask about a dates ex, but in the end, things got awkward because instead of focusing on us, my date was too focused on his ex to take any notice of me.
Comfortable Body Language
The purpose of a first date is to make a good impression. Body language speaks louder than actual words. Flirting my way through being too touchy on the first date gave my (potential) guy a bad impression. He actually thought I was easy to get and by that, I mean easy to bed. Guys appreciate affection on the first date, but again, light affection. Touching a few times throughout the whole date is acceptable. However, clinging is not.
I realized (finally!) that a first date was not a quest to find the person I was going to marry. Although the goal of a first date is to get a second one and hopefully, a third and a fourth date, the main idea is to just have a good time and make a lasting impression.
