subject: Tips For Asian Girls Dating Westerners [print this page] Know your own culture Know your own culture
This might seem like strange advice. However most intercultural experts agree that the most important thing in dealing with people from other cultures is knowing your own culture. Why? Because if you dont know your own culture then how do you know what is your personality and what is your culture? Think of your culture as a pair of tinted glasses. You always view the world through these tinted lenses meaning that you never see another culture without the tint. When dealing with people close to you its especially important to not view them through the lenses of your own culture. This leads to many mis-understandings. Try to understand about your own culture so that you better understand people who are not part of your culture.
Learn about their culture
Once have learnt about your own culture and feel able to not judge people by the standards of your own culture then the next step is to learn about your partners culture. The most important things are knowing how to behave in certain situations. For example in certain cultures its important to be assertive in certain situations otherwise people might look down on you. In the same situation often in Asian cultures it might be very important to be submissive and to do otherwise is extremely rude. Feel free to ask advice about these issues although be prepared to get confusing advice. Quite often people forget the first step, Know your own culture and someone who doesnt know their own culture will not give good advice about their own culture.
Respect their culture
Do not look down on or criticise your partners culture. It sounds simple but in practise it can sometimes be very difficult to resist criticising something that you find crazy or annoying about their culture.
Dont focus on culture
Sometimes its better to focus on things you have in common rather than the differences. Find your common ground.
Avoid difficult subjects
Some subjects or ideas are extremely difficult to grasp as an outsider to a culture. The big ones are Politics, Religion and Money. You need not necessarily completely avoid these subjects however be careful with them. These kind of subjects can be emotive and while you want to behave the correct way towards your partner they may have some views which you find extreme on these subjects. It may however be that their views are only extreme to you and their views are quite normal in their culture.
Dont rush things
In time you can probably tackle the most difficult subjects however it takes time to build up to tackling some subjects. Remember you need to respect their culture and you definitely dont want to criticise their culture. Dont worry about avoiding some of the big issues, build up trust and make your partner aware that you are not critical of their culture before tackling some of the bigger issues.
Dont ask for money
If dating a westerner you really shouldnt ask them for money. Some Asian girls do yes and things work out. However by doing this you first loose trust also you setup your relationship as not one of equals, this will have a negative long term affect on your relationship. If you ask for money early in your relationship its likely your partner will think that probably you are a scammer, he may still give you money but in his mind he is taking a risk, he doesnt really trust you and it will take a very long time to build this trust. Is this the relationship you want?
Be patient and forgiving
Even if you follow the above rules your partner may not. Dont stress about this. Even if they criticise your royal family, a leader you admire or something about Asia try to see past that mistake. Try to always see things from their point of view. To them its probably quite normal to criticise figures of authority maybe doing this is even admired!
Dont judge your partner by the values of your own culture. See past this and simply judge them as a person. Are they a good person and do they care for you?
