subject: Caring For Dementia Sufferers A Different Approach [print this page] My mother died in April after a long, slow progression of dementia.
Up until a week before her death, she was still able to walk with the help of a frame, sit up in a chair and assist with her feeding. She was able to recognise people she saw on a frequent basis, although she spoke very little. She liked having music playing on the radio and would hold a book in her lap and turn pages even though she wasnt really reading (sometimes the book was upside-down).
The best thing we (my siblings and I) ever did was to contact a private nursing agency which specialised in geriatric care in order to find a professional carer for our mother. Luckily, the qualified nurse whom they recommended from our area was a wonderful person who visited Mum at least once a week, managed whatever medications she needed and dealt with most illnesses and minor injuries. Critically she managed to keep our mother out of the doctors surgery and hospital and she alerted us to any concerns we should have. I know that we were very fortunate to be able to afford the extra assistance but I highly recommend it to anybody who can manage it.
It was this nurse who picked up on subtle signs that Mum was eventually preparing herself for the end. She was eating very little, refusing her medicines and having visions that her (long deceased) mother and father were waiting for her by the door to her room. Then Mum had what appeared to be a total psychotic break she was alternatively sobbing and screaming in anger, lashing out and hitting at my sister and I being completely delusional.
The nurse came to the house as soon as possible, assessed the situation and relayed her conclusions to the family. We all completely agreed that we didnt want any kind of aggressive treatment or hospitalisation for Mum. The nurse managed to get some sedation into her which was no easy task since she was refusing to swallow any pills or liquids. Once she was calmed down, Mum slept, waking occasionally in the first few days for a sip of water but with less and less frequency and after a week she quietly died.
It was a best case scenario. Oddly enough, we had reached a point financially where we were going to have to sell our mothers house and move her into a nursing home. She would not have dealt well with that, as any deviation from her routine or familiar surroundings left her agitated, hallucinatory and uncooperative. We never got a chance to put the plan into motion. Mum knew nothing about it, so her final decline and death could not have been a result of her acting on a wish to avoid that move.
